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my a-ha moment!

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

i was reading a blog by 111butterfly111 this morning. it was eye opening!

hopefully that link worked.

anyway, as i was reading the blog i was like, holy cow! that makes so much sense! then i started getting a little choked up. I can blame that on pms, right? she talks about taking care of a young child and why wouldn't she take care of herself with as much care and love.

exactly! why do i treat myself this way? i would never treat another person the way i treat myself. i wouldn't want dh eating the junk food that i eat. i have become an emotional closet eater. i would be beyond pi$$ed if i found out he stopped at the store on his way to work and bought junk food. i realize he uses the vending machine at work, but that's not daily, and it's not the equivalent of an entire extra meal. man, i'm a hypocrite! i'm full of self-realizations today. i would never want dd to drink the way i do. i'd be concerned about anyone who did drink the way i do. i am concerned about myself, i'm just not doing a very good job of fixing it.

i don't want dd drinking soda, and i just tell myself i'll stop drinking it when she gets old enough to understand what i'm doing. what if she's already old enough? i certainly wouldn't want her being obese and not doing enough to change it. i really have to come to terms with the kind of example i'm setting.

i keep saying i'll buy organic food when i can afford it. if i can "afford" to buy beer every week why can't i afford to buy $20 worth of organic produce? interesting. if i budget $100 a week for groceries and then spend $50 on soda, junk food and booze in that same week (prices are hypothetical) why don't i just spend $150 on groceries? why am i buying a soda everyday on my way to work and not spending that $2 on something necessary for dd?

wow, enlightening. mind = blown. i've discovered a lot about myself in the last hour and i can't say i like any of it.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • MONAKIN314
    emoticon Realizing what we need to change is a great step in the right direction. Why is it that we put others ahead of ourselves? Don't let it get you down, use a push off point. emoticon
    1391 days ago
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    1391 days ago
    It's always great to have an epiphany, the trick is to change your habit while you are so enthusiastic. (and I speak from experience) Hope it works for you!
    1391 days ago
    Oh so true... and hard to admit
    1391 days ago

    Accountability really is key. It hurts at first, doesn't it? I still feel the sting of my own transgressions. I think we need to feel it, to acknowledge it, and then to go about changing it.

    Love, Ginger
    1392 days ago
    Oh Shanna! Yes, you are full of self-realizations, but don't let it be self-loathing. I'm going to read the blog you linked. I, too, self-sabotage myself (as you know) and it is a vicious cycle to end. We are talking about game-changing lifestyle changes. These changes are big! I wouldn't even worry about "organic" unless it really means a lot to you, I would focus at first on just getting fruits/vegs at each meal.

    Honestly I think that we have to battle what's going on in our heads to be able to manage what we eat. We have to find the motivation and the momentum to want it bad enough, every day, and believe in ourselves enough, everyday, and believe that we are worth it enough, every day, to be able to succeed.

    Old habits are hard to change, lifestyles are hard to change, we basically need to trade one type of comfort that makes us [temporarily] happy for a new kind of comfort that will make us a new way of happy. A smaller pants size that is 2 months away is harder to desire than an instantaneous snack or beverage that will provide immediate gratification (and regret.)

    I'm right there with you girl. You have your motivation. Your sights are crystal clear now. Utilize SparkPeople and all it has to offer. Make the paper clip chain of each pound lost, keep it in your sight at work and adjust it as necessary. You can do this, I can do this. Check out the "sweet tooth challenge" on SparkPeople. Go full force for 2 weeks and it will be easier after that.

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    1392 days ago
  • KIMPY225
    Great job realizing that you can change the way you shop!

    1392 days ago
    Learning about ourselves is part of this journey. You are doing a great job of re evaluating...piece by piece you will be healthier. Hugs, Laurel
    1392 days ago
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