Wednesday, October 30, 2013
The past week has been really really hard. Both my daughters and their kids live with me. One of the kids is my 14 year old granddaughter. A week ago she tried to commit suicide by taking a lot of Tylenol. She spent the night in the hospital, to make sure her Tylenol levels were controlled (Tylenol can cause severe liver damage) then was transferred to an inpatient adolescent behavioral health treatment center. The closest one to us is about 2 1/2 hours from our house. It's been so hard to know that this beautiful young girl with so much potential didn't want to live. And so hard to see my daughter and the rest of the family go through the pain. I don't know what I would do without my faith in God and prayers and support of some of my friends here and on Facebook that have been a safe place for me to "talk". For a few days, my granddaughter didn't even want to talk to her mom on the phone. But she seems to be doing much better now, and her discharge is set for tomorrow morning it looks like. My daughter was just on a phone call meeting with the her daughter and staff and she is excited to be coming home. They started her on antidepressant medication and she opened up and talked some finally with them and was taught some coping skills and will follow up with counseling here. I am so very very grateful that she wasn't successful. I've been in that deep dark place before in my life, where it seemed too painful to live. I never attempted suicide, mainly because at the time I was going through it my kids were little and I couldn't leave them behind. But I know what it feels like to be in so much pain and my heart breaks for her.
We still have a road ahead of us to try to help her and also for both my daughters to make some changes in their own lives. Me as well. (Yeah me, I'm not perfect LOL). I've heard promises from my daughters before, as they have a lot of issues, but hopefully this time will be different. My faith is strong that good things will come out of this.
Keep my family in your thoughts and prayers for healing spiritually, mentally, and physically. Hopefully the Tylenol is all out of her system and no damage will show up later.
Thanks to all who have been there for me. I didn't share this with everyone sooner, as it is hard to talk about sometimes. Suicide is a very scary subject but also something that needs to be talked about. Things are never so hopeless that they can't get better. I'm so glad that when I felt that way years ago I hung on and got some help because I would have missed out on so many good things and my family would have been devastated. Weeping endures for a moment but joy comes in the morning.