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Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Ok, I'm on a personal life journey, to find out who I am. Since I turned 60 this year things have been bothering me, not about getting old but who am I & what am I suppose to do with my life?

Is it too late to make changes?

If I don't make changes now, "where will I be next year?" I've always thought I was pretty religious but now I find myself even question that.

So I ask myself, "Do I always put God first?"

Do I really believe if I put it in his hands, will it make a difference?

At times I find myself asking God, "Why did you make me short & fat?" Why didn't I get the body, the beauty, the money, the brains, the great house like some of my family?

If I'm to be honest with myself, I'm not sure. I try to pray everyday, treat others fair, give to others but then I find myself asking, "Am I suppose to be doing more?"

I have been trying to live by the motto of paying it forward, I find myself when I have change coming back, I tell the clerk to put it towards the next person's order. However, wouldn't it be even better to be able to just pay for the next person in line?

So now I have joined a class at Church called, "Loving God" to see what it means. I'm a firm believer that things happen for a reason & this class just seemed to come up at the right time & everything fit to take it. It's a 6 week class, so it will be interesting to see where I am personally at the end.

I know that God has provided me with a lot & I don't want to sound ungrateful, I just want to know if I'm suppose to be & do more! I thank him everyday for what he has provided for me,now it's up to me to use it correctly.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I love that you have put this blog up. Isn't it a familiar question to each of us? Shouldn't I be doing more?
    I got to a stage where I was 'doing' a lot but had no energy or zeal for any of it.

    Then I found if I started each day by just sitting alone and talking to God-- not asking for things just voicing how much I loved HIM, how amazing He is, his power and might, how grateful I am He called me, how I need His love--those sort of things little by little I regained my 'balance' .

    I am able to do so much knowing Him, He knows me, cares for me, strengthens me. He believes I'm worth knowing.

    It gave me encouragement to lean on Him and listen and say no to some things.

    I say just love Him and spend time with Him.
    1424 days ago
  • GABY1948
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    1424 days ago
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    1425 days ago
    First of all, hugs to you. I am in exactly the same spot you are! I will be 60 in less than a week, and I will be spending my birthday alone. I thank God for all of the gifts He has given me, but also depressed that so much has happened negatively in the past 5 years. One of the hardest things I have ever done is trust in Him and leave everything in His hands and His plans. This is what I have discovered when I put myself totally in His hands:
    - He never promised it would be easy for us, only that He would be there for us
    - When you trust in Him and His plan, you live a less stressful life.
    - Less is more. I used to have lots before my husband left me, now I had one tenth of that and I am more content (plus I have less to clean).
    I have also learned when people ask me how I am doing, it is easier to say that I am well. Because I am: spiritually and physically. What great gifts God has given me in those two! But mentally? It has been the biggest struggle ever. Even giving up my son for adoption was not as hard. I am sad, I am lonely. People tell me "God is always there for you", but we don't always feel Him with us, do we? That is where the trust comes in. He will bring us people we need, in His own time. He will bring us what we need, when we really need it. He will not abandon us. Sometimes He gives and sometimes He takes away. But when He takes away, then He gives again.
    I will keep you in my prayers for strength and for Him to help you place your trust in Him. It isn't easy for us, but it becomes easier the more we trust in His plan.

    1425 days ago
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