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Monday, October 28, 2013

I can't believe how much time has passed since I joined Sparkpeople 2 1/2 years ago. I was a desperate 300 lb. woman looking for a miracle. Not an "easy fix", just some motivation and support to get healthy and lose weight. I was facing health problems and was severely depressed. This website was what I needed.

Sparkpeople was my new, shiny toy. I was sooo amazed and inspired by all the stories. I started tracking my food and drinking water. The pounds started to come off slowly and I was motivated to keep going. Eventually I was able to exercise and in 8 months I had lost 70 lbs!

Then something happened. It was Christmas and I was happy and comfortable with my body. I started "slipping up". I got away with it for a while...I would over-eat or skip exercising and get back on track to cover myself. I would gain and lose the same 2 lbs. for many months. Eventually I started gaining weight and didn't lose it back.

I have a sugar addiction. I found that good nutrition keeps the cravings under control but, once I let sugary treats or extra carbs and artificial sweeteners get into my body...I craved more and more. In addition to that problem, I injured my foot and had to stop exercising for 10 months.

Well, I don't have to tell you that both those things add up to disaster for anyone trying to maintain a weight loss let alone trying to lose additional weight.

I couldn't face gaining weight again so instead of working harder to get through the challenge...I did what I always did in the past...I gave up on myself and ignored my weight gain. I kept telling myself that it would be ok but, I didn't make any changes.

Now I have gained back 50 lbs! I am facing health problems again. I have acid reflux and asthma again. My body hurts. My clothes don't fit and I am depressed again.

I am back on Sparkpeople now. Determined to one day reach my goal.

It's do or die time!

My Sparkpage says "Sparkpeople Motivator!" How can I be a motivator when I am feeling like such a failure right now.

Well, I CAN because I am here to motivate you to keep going.

Don't do what I did. Don't get comfortable and lazy. If you are working your program and losing weight...keep on track! Be scared! Because if you think that you can cheat here and there and make up for it, you may be able to for awhile but, one day you will let it get away from you and where will you be then...right where I am. Morbidly Obese and starting again.

Feeling healthy and confident is a precious feeling. Please don't take your success for granted.

Don't let what happened to me happen to you!


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I think there are so many of us in the same boat.. We absolutely KNOW how to lose weight, because we have done it over and over. We are also aware that when we lose focus, when we stop eating mindfully, we end up gaining it back. It is soooooo
    painful to restart. It makes me so mad at myself. I appreciate your candor and determination. This is the day!! We will do this. I want to add you as friend, if that is okay with you. I think we can help each other! emoticon emoticon
    1494 days ago
    Hi, thank you for this blog, It was just what I needed to read today! I am right in about the same place that it sounds like you are, frustrated and ready to stop backsliding. I've gained my weight back and am tired of the aches and pains and ready to find the movitation to do this again, because it is only up to me. Good luck on your journey, I'm going to send you a friend request hope that is ok :) I hope you have a great week! Love the healthy foods background, very cool
    1494 days ago
  • PRINCESS1309
    I understand how you feel, I gained all my weight back and felt like such a loser. I was depressed and felt defeated. Finally a little voice in my head said to quit feeling sorry for myself and start to eat healthy. I may never lose all the weight that I would like to lose, but whatever weight that I do lose will make me healthier and happier. I started watching again about 3 weeks ago and came back to Spark today. I have a goal of losing what I can by next May. Even if I only lose 10 pounds, I'll feel better.

    1586 days ago
    Hi again. I'm freshly back too! i lost the 75 lb. and then suffered PTSD, had to be home from work and am still on leave. I think being at home and feeling unwell lead to my eating. I'm up 11 lb and feeling extra glum besides. emoticon It's all a matter of what I call "head space". It's not that appearance matter's so much but as you say, the health risks do and also the feeling of loss of confidence, direction and faith in yourself. these later things pervade all we do and so it's time to get on with it!! Yes!
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    1591 days ago
    I hope you don't mind I added you. I've gained 50lbs back, after having lost 30lbs myself. It doesn't seem like much, but that 50lbs takes a toll on you after awhile. I barely fit in the clothes I own, so I'm desperate myself.

    You deserve the Spark Motivator... you earned it. And guess what?! You are back again... that in itself is inspiring. You realized you fell off track, and are back to fix it. That's the hardest part is admitting to ourselves we messed up. Good luck!! I know you can do this!!! :)
    1594 days ago
    You can do this. Take a look at Holly Rose's blog. She's taking a break now, but all her past posts are on there. Maybe you'll get some help in fighting sugar addiction and some inspiration too.

    1600 days ago
    We all either have started over, are starting over, or will need to start over again at some point. But, remember, everyone who has lost weight and kept it off had to start over that one last time at some point! You're in good company. Hang in there! You can do it!
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    1605 days ago
  • _BABE_
    First of all give up the self- condemnation and take a deep breath. I, too had to start over again January 2013 but I soon realized kicking my butt for losing ground was not going to help. I have done it slowly but it's a process because I realize it has to come from a place of self-love not loathing. I had surgery August 30/13 and have not been able to weigh myself because I have not been able to bear weight on my left foot since that time. I have been careful with my eating because I have not been mobile for 2 months and it looks like I have to wait till late Nov for new X-rays.

    We are so alike because I love sugar too and if there were cookies here now I would lose my train of thought. I know that I can't have just one because as the saying goes "sugar begets more sugar".

    The truth is you can do will do steps and one day at a time. emoticon
    1605 days ago

    I have checked your page daily to see if you had returned, always checking your status. You were missed. I am not very good at motivating others and usually don't think to leave an inspiring or any message but I do keep checking.
    I have not let myself quit, yet, but I also have not gotten on with the task at hand, rather , treating it like a casual friend. Time for both of us to get serious, but not crazy, and stick to a program to become the best, healthiest, people we can be.
    SO glad you found your way home.

    1605 days ago
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    1605 days ago
  • MJRVIC2000
    Remember that there is a BIG difference between making a DECISION and making a COMMITMENT! God Bless YOU! Vic.
    1605 days ago
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