Monday, October 28, 2013
omg I am so over this whole starting over business, which means... I am done giving up. There's a lot of things in life, that I have absolutely no control over. What I do for my body, as in what I put into it & how much I move it... that's completely on me. I'm the boss.
Having lost 80lbs, I know that I have it in me to do what's needed to be successful in my mission to lose 100lbs. I have the most of the resources and much motivation ... to live a healthy lifestyle... still here I sit today full of bubble guts, I'm groggy, grouchy, sluggish, up 9lbs ...back at square one.
Well, I'm not 260lbs anymore... but I'm further away from my goal weight than I was just a few short weeks ago. On September 2nd I got in the zone and did really well for over a month, but completely fell off track a week or so into October. and when I say completely off track, I do mean completely off track. I even started drinking pop again. Life threw me some curve balls and I resorted back to my old ways...I really really really am an emotional binge eater! and when I choose to binge, I don't eat anything thats even remotely nutritious for me, I choose the worst foods ... and I don't drink any water. I seriously am making myself want to throw up just typing this.
In all seriousness... the struggle my friends, is real.
I'm such an extremist....when I'm doing good I'm doing great...but when I'm doing bad, I'm pretty much the supersize me guy. I need help.
I could sit here for hours and make excuses though,
or I can switch things up and turn my life around (even if this is the millionth time doing this starting over shi*t) RIGHT NOW
and that's what's up.
These are not vanity lbs I'm fixing to rid my body of people, these are some serious unhealthy fat lbs that are making my vital organs work too hard... and that keeps me from being able to really LIVE.
I am not 260lbs anymore and I do celebrate that fact every day, but I need to be real with myself ...if I continue to self sabotage the way I have been for the past three weeks, I'll weigh more than 260lbs a year from now and the quality of my life will be 10000x worse.
I am re-committing myself to MYSELF.
However, being the healthiest me is going to benefit everyone around me...and I mean everyone. ALL aspects of my life will dramatically improve, I believe this wholeheartedly.
I'm doing this.
It's not going to be easy, because well.. as we know, life is hard and everyday trials and tribulations make it 1000000x harder to not give in to temptations & self destruct.
I'm human though & regardless of the mistakes I've made in my life... my heart is beating, I'm breathing... I'm here. My mind is set and I'm ready to go. If the creator forgives me, I forgive me.
Today is REALLY AND TRULY, the first day of the rest (& best) of my life.