Sunday, October 27, 2013
I am stuck at slightly above 220, but I know what the problem is. WORK. If I didn't have to work, my weight would be completely under control and I would be running marathons. My house would also be clean. So, I have been feeling sorry for myself lately and giving into binges with food to counter stress. I've been trying to buy healthy food and to cook it, but by the end of the week, I am either eating out or buying a bag of potato chips for dinner. I often end up throwing the healthy food out because I failed to cook it during the week. My maturity level goes down as the week progresses. I can deal with Monday stress and usually Tuesday stress as well. Then I start to get tired and cranky. Or I go out to dinner with a friend when the plan was to cook at home and pack up lunches, and it all goes down hill from there. I am also hypersensitive to weather and light this time of year. If it is rainy, cold, and dreary, I usually respond by crawling into bed for the evening. I am trying to get motivated and start using this site more, but it is the last thing I want to do when I am struggling.
To be fair, I haven't gained any weight back. I am talking myself out of binging enough to maintain 222 without much exercise. I have kept to my promise of NO SUGAR EVER, and I am still only drinking one glass of alcohol per week. I see these changes as permanent, although when I am very stressed, I still think about sugar. I have to admit, though, that I felt better when I weighed more but was exercising twice a day. But that just wasn't realistic as I wasn't working for the summer and I planned my entire day around exercise.
So, what am I going to do to refocus my goals this week? For starters, I am not giving in to telling myself that I am going to cook anything that takes more than 10 minutes on a weekday. I am going to cook all of my meals for the week today and put them in containers for the week. I am also going to try to get some meals into the freezer so that I can have a variety of choices for lunch. Since I don't have to cook, I will be more able convince myself to go to the gym after work. My goal for the week is to be binge free and exercise at least 3 days.
I am also trying to figure out how I can move more at work. I have some sedentary habits that I can change. For example, I can stand up and move around when I present things instead of sitting at my desk. I can take a short walk during lunch instead of trying to get caught up on things. I can walk to see people instead of sending e-mails here and again. I can also try to go in early a few days to avoid bringing work home and try to have 3 days where I do not think about work in the evening. I think changing daily habits is the hardest part of this journey. When I am home on the weekends, I go into summer mode and live a healthy lifestyle. I just need to find a way to develop these same habits at work and stop dealing with stress by eating. It's great that I haven't gained back any weight, but I want to get refocused and get down to a healthy weight over the next year.