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    PIXIE-LICIOUS   191,860
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The Old Me And Why I Love Her

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Saturday, October 26, 2013

Today is day 11 of my streak!

A couple of years ago, I belonged to a women's gym. One day, one of the members came in with a scrapbook she was creating about her weight loss journey. She had lost about 50 lbs, and was very close to her goal weight. Everyone took a look at her scrapbook, which was really well done and creative. The first pages were her "before" pictures, with her at her top weight. Even though she was overweight, she was still lovely and had a great smile. But yet...the pages with her "before" pictures were decorated with cows and pigs, and she had written some pretty rude comments about herself! She called herself "Fatty" and there was even a comment she'd written that said something about being too big to fit in the barn with the cows.

Everyone who looked at that scrapbook got a chuckle over those pages, and then moved on to the rest of the book, oohing and ahhing over how much progress she'd made. But to be honest, those first pages kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. And even though that happened a few years ago, I still think of it from time to time.

It just strikes me as incredibly sad that she would put herself down that way. The world is ready to put you down enough as it is, so why be so denigrating to yourself?

When I look at my own "before" pictures, I don't say bad things about myself. This is me, on March 1, 2012, when I started my journey;

(More pictures.."before" and "during"...are in my Spark photos.)

When I look at those pictures of the old me, it brings tears to my eyes. Tears of love and gratitude! I wish I could go back in time and give myself a hug and say "Thank you for having the courage and strength to get started. Thank you for not giving up even though it was super hard. Thank you for stealing your life back!"

I will never hate the person I used to be, because she is the one who got started and brought me to where I am today. I still have a long way to go on my journey, but thanks to the "before" version of me who had the guts to take that first step, I have lost 71 lbs and gotten so much healthier.

As of today (October 26) there are 66 days until New Years Day! I have been challenging myself to make as much progress as I can by January first. I am working hard to make this a healthy holiday season! I have a few Spark friends who are joining me on this challenge, and one of them told me I should start a team. So....I think I might! Right now its just in the "under consideration" stage. But if you would be interested in joining a private team with me (with our focus being on having a healthy holiday season) let me know. If I get enough interest, I will start a private team and send you an invitation.

PS: Love yourself no matter what your weight is. Love yourself enough to take care of your health, because you are worth it!


Member Comments About This Blog Post:
MEONSPARK 11/10/2015 10:28AM

    Love your encouraging blog...and I would]ld LOVE to join your holiday team...I really want to stay strong during the holidays and know this would be a great help.

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CATNCAG 12/30/2014 11:13AM

    emoticon words Pixie! Hey, if you ever do start a team challenge of some sort please let me know as I would be very interested in joining! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TERRIJ7 4/15/2014 3:14PM

    I'm going through old blogs that I previously missed and am SO happy to have found this one! I have been down and back up a couple of times--even since joining Spark--and am very disappointed in myself. What you wrote here really speaks to me about the attitude I have about myself right now. Thank you!

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LORIVIOLA 3/30/2014 6:45PM

    emoticon so much for this emoticon blog.
I have sometimes said bad things to/about myself. Usually when i am really frustrated with something else. But that's when the worst of me comes out.

i appreciate all you have shared and it will make me think twice about saying negative stuff.


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GRAMPIAN 12/26/2013 4:43AM

  Full of wisdom. emoticon

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AMBER461 11/27/2013 8:04PM

  Thanks for your inspiring blog. This really touch my heart to love yourself don't matter how big you are or how small is the right way to go. I am very touch by your kind words of wisdom to the very big guys, I just hope that they take it to heart and love themselves no matter what. Thank you again.

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DRTOVAH 11/14/2013 12:26AM

  great post!

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WHITEANGEL4 11/8/2013 8:06PM

    Great blog...a person should love themselves through all he stages of their lives. All times may not be the best and there are ups and down with health, weight and relationships, but you need to care for yourself

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DONNELDA22 11/7/2013 5:11AM

    Another great blog. Thanks for reminding us to keep loving who we were/are and not just saving all the good feelings for that future person we are trying to uncover.
As for starting a private team---great idea. I would love to join. emoticon

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JENNAAW 11/5/2013 12:22PM

    One of the best Spark posts I've ever read. God bless you and your hubby. He is certainly worth his weight in gold. Take good care of yourself. I appreciate how hard it is to maintain weight after losing. Let's keep going onward!

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EFFRAYECHILDE 11/4/2013 10:51AM


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NADABR 10/30/2013 4:52PM

    Just in the right time! I was depressed with my weight journey just a minute ago , I guess I am having one of those bad days not more but I felt really bad. However your blog just get me back to my " norm" and I am full of hope again! I would never let myself down again.. Good job.. Keep going on.. I will too make sure that I will meet 2014 with my very own victory. Cheers !!

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MOMMASGOTINK 10/30/2013 3:51PM

    A great blog! I agree, losing weight won't necessarily mean you will love yourself more. Before I had gained all this current weight I am trying to lose I was still unhappy with little features be it my hair, or my nose. I have learned to love these things about myself so I hope when I cross my weight loss finish line I will be a new and much happier me.

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JGOT2LOSE 10/30/2013 11:31AM

    Amazing post (brought tears to my eyes) - so true in so many ways. emoticon

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UNSWEETMAMA 10/30/2013 11:26AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ENDUROVET 10/30/2013 11:23AM

    I can always count on your blogs/SparkPage for inspiration Pix !!!

I really really like the photo w/the woman's neck w/sparkles; I may borrow it! My neck used to be a big sore spot w/its Frankensteinian scar, but now I appreciate it.

I have not been kind to myself this Oct either, but slowly getting back on track.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    Wow, I think I really need to be your friend after reading that.... WOW! Got goosepimples and everything!

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REDHEAD107 10/30/2013 3:12AM

  Words of wisdom... and wonderful to hear. I'd like to be part of your team. emoticon

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NANCY19662 10/30/2013 12:46AM

  emoticon emoticon

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IMREITE 10/30/2013 12:15AM

    I am reading a book about how over eating and other compulsive behaviors are to compensate for not receiving or finding love in our lives. The book encdourages us to love all parts of ourselves thatwe we can get rid of the mental pain that weighs as down along with the fat that makes us heavy.

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KHANSON753 10/29/2013 10:32PM

  Thank you for such a soulful blog. You have a true gift of words in making value ourselves. Just what Ineeded! emoticon

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HEYSHAKER 10/29/2013 10:04PM

    This should be mandatory reading. Thank you for writing it.

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SABLENESS 10/29/2013 10:04PM

    emoticon emoticon

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NICKLESPICKLES 10/29/2013 9:35PM

    Beautiful are exactly right. This body brought me three beautiful children; this body has endured 40 + years on this earth through all the crazy things I have brought upon it. This body deserves love and respect...thanks for your blog today. Completely awesome. emoticon

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KIPPER15 10/29/2013 8:59PM


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MOMMABEAR121 10/29/2013 8:52PM

    Hello my dear .. as usual you speak from your heart straight to mine .. thank you for sharing of yourself so we can be encouraged.. you amaze me!!
Sorry I haven't been here much but I'm back even if I have to stay up all night to read and blog !! I'm going to because I need to!! I need you and my other Spark friends and the staff to help me every step of the way.
I just love your blogs .. and you so once again wow emoticon

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ALLEYKITTEN 10/29/2013 8:25PM

    Wow. What a great blog! Why would we hate ourselves at any weight? Thanks for blogging this!

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TNLARKINS11 10/29/2013 7:04PM

    Very Well written, I needed that today. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and insights with us. emoticon emoticon

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FRABBIT 10/29/2013 5:54PM

  What a well written and thoughtful blog.

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GRLTAZ 10/29/2013 5:02PM

    Thank you. Sometimes I forget that perspective of love thy self fat or thin.

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BETSYSJAFRA 10/29/2013 4:21PM

    This was very touching - I definitely needed this today emoticon emoticon

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LAINYC 10/29/2013 4:00PM


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MARUKI52 10/29/2013 3:53PM

    Count me in please. It will give me something to work towards.

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KATENURTURE 10/29/2013 3:52PM

    Thank you for this. I believe these words to be true, but it can be a lonely world out there. Your words are a gift!

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SUZIPAM1 10/29/2013 1:56PM

    i love this post and it is so true

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TREV1964 10/29/2013 1:50PM

    This yet again is a fantastic blog Pixie.

I know looking back at pictures of myself before March this year I did not find shocking at the time - I am however shocked by them now but that is because I know I have changed from then to the person I am today.

Hating myself would not help me to achieve anything for the future and would not enable me to complete my goals because hate is destructive.



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CORNERKICK 10/29/2013 1:23PM


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JULIAMOONCHILD 10/29/2013 1:16PM

    You are no longer human in my book. You have to be more than human to be so wise.
You are an Angel, I think, a most kind and loving Angel.

I really think your blogs are the most meaningful blogs ever written here or anywhere else on the internet, and the people you directly touch with your inspiring words are truly grateful to you.

I know I am! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JENJENN7 10/29/2013 12:44PM

    I am so glad that you shared all this! Thank you!

If you start a team I would definitely be interested. emoticon

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QBURT42 10/29/2013 11:29AM

    Your blog brought me to tears....

I am day 2 into my journey. My biggest problem has been loving and being kind to myself. Not only do I want to lose the weight but I want to learn to treat myself the way I deserve.

Thank you for your blog. It really was exactly what I needed to hear/read today! I would love to join your challenge!

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MRSRIGS1 10/29/2013 11:26AM

    As always, I not only enjoy reading your blogs but I LOVE reading them! You motivate and inspire me - THANK you!! I would love to be part of your holiday team. (Especially since I am going to have surgery in a couple of weeks). Although, I am concerned about how much physical activity I'll be allowed or even able to do. But, I'd like to have the tool to keep motivated and inspired during my recovery. I will do my BEST to log in as often as I can as to not let the team down. emoticon

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TRIKERBON 10/29/2013 11:07AM

    I would love to be included in your healthy holiday challenge! I am currently reigniting the Spark to flame my fitness streak!

I enjoyed your blog and look forward to reading more of them!

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JB5MOM 10/29/2013 11:02AM

    Perfectly said! emoticon

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VANGO79 10/29/2013 9:30AM

    Thank you for the inspirational words. And I think a healthy holiday challenge would be awesome! emoticon

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JLKCANADA 10/29/2013 9:00AM

    Pixie, so well said! Loved your blog and would be very interested in a private team. emoticon

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SPAMUNDY 10/29/2013 8:34AM

    Love your blog. Thank you! I'd like to join your holiday challenge. I'm already doing a countdown to New Years. It started as 99 days of Healthy eating. I haven't blogged about it recently, but I'm still doing the healthy eating.

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MCCAHILL2 10/29/2013 8:17AM

    hi there i'm new to this i just start today and i'm start to do my plans next week but till then i'm start on a water plan which is i have till 6pm or 7pm to eat something then i when it hits 6 or 7pm i start drinking water. i read this blog and i just wanted to say thank you because i don't like the way i look even though when you look at me i don't look like i weight 200lbs but i do some people in my family do put me down and then it makes my feel writhless and i just wanted to say after reading this blog i felt happy and no writhless. I don't really care what people think till they say what they are really thinking of me which make me sad but any way i want to get healthy for myself i said that before and stop but since i'm going to make my self be on spark people every day maybe i wont go off track and i have to be true to my self so thank you for the plosive blog :)


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KATHIC2 10/29/2013 7:53AM

  Love your blogs! You are so insightful. I would be interested in a team.

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GIRLONTHEGO2010 10/29/2013 7:45AM

    Thanks so much for this post. Self hatred is a terrible thing I have learned that you can't give love if you don't start with yourself first. I would join your team if you decide to start it. Best!

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DIVKAT23 10/29/2013 7:36AM

  Hey Pixie! Even before i added you as a spark friend, I was motivated by your posts...
Thank you for always being so good with words...

This is a great blog and i'm very interested in being a part of this private team... Lets do this... Give our best at the end of the year and welcome a healthy 2014!! Looking forward... emoticon

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