Saturday, October 26, 2013
Today, my status tells you that 'Helzie is content'. This is possibly the most accurate status posting of my health related mood I have ever written, and to be honest, I'm pretty proud of it.
Nothing out of the ordinary, hold-the-phone,'step back you're dancing kind of close' has occurred, and yet for some reason, I feel like I have started a fresh new chapter in my mind-one I didn't even know I was looking to start.
This morning I woke up, and I had this sense that I'm not battling against myself to eat right, to work out, to make my goals stick anymore. They were there in front of me, and they felt pretty achievable...it's just common sense I have adapted over time. I know what I have to do and it's just clicked. I looked at the calendar and thought 'I can't believe that in a few months time (fingers crossed, avoiding ladders, spin around three times) I will be, for the first time ever, a healthy weight.'
I can't explain the sudden boost I had. It just crept up on me, a fresh injection of perseverance, confidence and an overwhelming feeling of "Everything is worth it". I suppose if I had to try and explain, I would tell you that I saw myself as a person, doing all the things I didn't think I could (whilst rocking a fantastic pair of jeans, of course!) And it was a great feeling.
Such a great feeling, in fact, that if I could bake it in a healthy muffinous form for everyone, I would. Instead, I can only send you this:
Finally I understand. Weightloss is not just cosmetic, it's not just for health. It's for the confidence that comes with every goal, the feeling of being on top of the world when you get there.
It's important to not give up, to start over daily if you want to, and however long the process, to keep going.