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FEELING OFF AND BLUE


Saturday, October 26, 2013

Omygosh, I am really screwed up in my sobriety, I feel like a newcomer-not in the sense of using/drinking (that is not an option although the thoughts creep up), I feel like I am trapped and don't know what to do. And then I have this pride thing going on about asking for help and then following thru when the help is offered. I am grateful for the comments and posts I have received over the last few days, totally uplifting. I did reach out and go to a meeting/dinner with a friend much needed. I just struggle with the spirituality of the program. And how to use the tools and the only time I read the Big Book is when someone tells me to turn to such and such whatever page. And I still struggle with "What is the point?" Not that I am going to do anything stupid I don't have the guts. These thoughts are so unlike me and that is why I feel like my sobriety program is all screwed up.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
LALMEIDA 10/27/2013 11:08PM

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LUANN7 10/27/2013 2:29PM

    Hang in there Addiction is a hard thing to overcome. you need to go to a meeting and get some support and encouragement. Don't feel down on yourself- know that you can do it!!

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GARDENCHRIS 10/27/2013 11:07AM

    get yourself to a meeting .... the spirituality thing is about admitting you are helpless and turning yourself over to your higher power..... most people that IS God ....... but if your not there yet anything that you deem your higher power........ the point is to be sober...... so get to a meeting and get a sponsor! emoticon

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PAINETDLDY 10/27/2013 10:28AM

    I hear you! Why would a merciful God make all the bad things so GOOD and then say, stay away from them! It sucks emoticon

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PATTYKLAVER 10/27/2013 8:15AM

    I always feel like my spirituality can be worked on. What works best for me is to sit and meditate for 15-20 minutes. It clears my mind and calms me and lets me get my mind a little straighter.

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SILVER1369 10/26/2013 11:10PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DJ4HEALTH 10/26/2013 9:50PM

    emoticon

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MAYBER 10/26/2013 9:12PM

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings
Hoping that you get the help that is needed
We all care and am a great listener
Truly take one day at a time
Love Prayers Peace
Bernice
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PURPLEPEONY 10/26/2013 7:50PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SPARKFRAN514 10/26/2013 7:50PM

    emoticon you started the first step by writing this blog and sharing how you feel your team mates are here for you as you see praying for you that you feel better soon. emoticon

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-WISPY- 10/26/2013 7:20PM

    Hi honey, you are not alone. I am thinking most, if not all of us have been feeling similar to how you feel now.

I got sober in AA many years ago now and still live the programme one day at a time. Addiction is a powerful thing and the most important thing in my life is that I do not pick up one drink no matter what happens in my life.

My sponsor was a life safer. Also reading the literature and going to meetings got me through the tough times. In AA they suggested I got lots of phone numbers of others who were recovering and to always pick up the phone before I picked up a drink. To get too as many meetings as I possibly could and to make a special point of going when I did not want to go. Our minds can play all sorts of tricks on us. Being with other alcoholics at a meeting seems to bring us back down to earth and remember what is really important.

What you are going through is one of the crunch times when we lose sight of how important sobriety is and other sober alkies are very important.

Love Wispy.




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PEZMOM1 10/26/2013 7:07PM

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WORKOUTWITHPAM 10/26/2013 2:44PM

    emoticon I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

HUGS
Pam

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WOUBBIE 10/26/2013 2:10PM

    The point? It truly is a mystery. I can't pretend to know any more than you do, but I choose to think of life as a tremendously challenging game that I would like to do well at, regardless of how it ends. (Of course, I love ALL kinds of games anyway, so that comes naturally.) When you finish playing a game that you enjoy it gives you such a sense of satisfaction! That's what I hope to enjoy for the rest of my life - the sense that, at the end of it, I'll feel satisfied with how I've played my hand.

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859320 10/26/2013 11:35AM

    hang on. I get help by reading in the book of Psalms especially the 23rd Psalms. emoticon emoticon

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GOSPELCLOWN 10/26/2013 10:11AM

    Good that you are sharing. It sounds like support time . Get a friend beside you! You are not screwed up.


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KANOE10 10/26/2013 9:15AM

    Hang in there. One day at a time. I hope you call one of your family members or friends or your sponsor for support. emoticon

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NELLJONES 10/26/2013 9:00AM

    Do you have a sponsor? Someone you can talk to about everything? Someone who knows you through and through? Even though we know things, we still need to have someone tell us those things over and over. So what? AA is a fellowship because sobriety is something we just can't do alone. If we could, we would. I can't, but I don't need to. Those wonderful people have carried me through many problems, real and imaginary, and I am grateful beyond words that they are there.

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KITT52 10/26/2013 8:14AM

    some times one day at a time is too long...one hour at a time or even 1 minute...
we all have times of struggle....praying things get better for you

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HAPPYJUNEBUG 10/26/2013 7:25AM

    Praying for you! Hang in there! You can do it!

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Junie
100+ Pounds Team
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KNYAGENYA 10/26/2013 7:24AM

    You can do it...I have faith in you.

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JULIA_211 10/26/2013 6:55AM

    In the beginning of my sobriety, I had feelings like yours too. What helped me was going to the library and reading books on sobriety, one in particular that I remember was Susan Powter's "Sober and Staying That Way." For some reason, that book helped me a lot, something to relate to. Good luck, and hang in there, it is always tough in the beginning! emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 10/26/2013 6:30AM

    We're all here for you. Keep it up, just one day at a time.

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HAPPYMENOW58 10/26/2013 3:58AM

    Hang in there and keep taking one day at a time.....Keep exercising, journaling, reading and learning....Your new way of life is becoming your new habits.....Hug yourself because you are trying to obtain a healthy lifestyle.

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