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"Break" dancing

Saturday, October 26, 2013

No, not THAT type of break dancing. Assuming I could even start, I would most definitely finish in traction.

No, I mean that I've felt for several years like I'm cased in cement. Like I can't move at all, except for going to work and back. And now more and more, I physically CAN'T move. I'm becoming so rigid, it's frightening me.

I've decided that Sunday I'm going to go to the Presbyterian church near me. I won't lie, I'm nervous about it. For a lot of reasons, I feel as though the world would be happier if I stayed hidden. And I know my appearance leaves a very great deal to be desired. I sincerely hope they won't stop at the surface. I love my online friends very much, but (selfishly, perhaps) I need face to face friends as well. And I need people to cook for.

What finally pushed me to do it? Reading a cookbook, believe it or not. I read Chef John Besh's My Family Table tonight. Imagine a cookbook putting huge tears in your eyes, but that's what happened. He writes so passionately about his love of his family and community, and about the power of cooking for the people we love. He touched a very deep chord in my heart. My ex thought family dinners were boring, and would frequently call me just before dinnertime to tell me that he "had" to drive "the guys" home from work. If I'd protest, he'd dismiss me.

I'm having a dinner party in two weeks, and two of the recipes I'm cooking are from Chef Besh's cookbooks. I'm serving his garlic-roasted fingerling potatoes with a red wine-braised beef brisket (my recipe) with sauteed kale and Chef's bread pudding recipe. Before anyone asks, it's emphatically NOT Spark-friendly, but since this party will be as close to a holiday dinner as I'll probably get with anyone, I'm going ahead. It will also be the first time I've ever made caramel sauce, and I'm very nervous. Caramel sauce is, I've always heard, extremely temperamental to work with. But I'm still doing it.

If it sounds like John Besh is right up there with Bobby on my favorites list, you're right. Reading his writings, I've realized that under the sweet face is a far sweeter heart. Not to mention the outrageous cooking talent. Also, and I'm seriously ashamed to admit this, I realize that as much as I hate prejudice, I've been guilty of a prejudice myself that Chef Besh has helped me to outgrow. I grew up believing the worst stereotype of white Southerners -- and that's just as wrong and hateful as any other prejudice. I'm glad to be disabused of it.

One church service. One dinner party. I think I can handle those for a start. Because if I don't break this concrete prison, I'm going to die in it.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    No, I mean that I've felt for several years like I'm cased in cement. Like I can't move at all, except for going to work and back. And now more and more, I physically CAN'T move. I'm becoming so rigid, it's frightening me. "

    That is how MS feels. emoticon
    1602 days ago
    The recipes sounds delicious. I hope you go to church and enjoy being there.
    1602 days ago
    emoticon Good for you!
    1602 days ago
    Going to practice the caramel sauce once before hand? I get nervous enough making a rather new more difficult recipe even if just for my son and hubby, but a dinner party for others? Eeek.
    1602 days ago
    Sounds like you are making a great choice to go out and UN-hide yourself. Have fun and enjoy your special dinner when you make it.
    1602 days ago
    Your cookbook will be your hammer and chisel. Go for it!
    1603 days ago
    I think you need ANOTHER DINNER GUEST. I CAN BRING WINE! emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1603 days ago
    I like it! I like what you are doing! LI, I am a 'white southerner,' and I have many very good Presbyterian friends who would welcome you with open arms into their church services. Check this out, they have Church/Community dinners at their church every Wednesday night. If they do that in the church you will be attending, girl, with your cooking skills and knowledge of food preparation, WOW! You'll be the GREATEST!!!!!!!

    Love ya,
    1603 days ago
    Go for it! Recipes sound delicious. You got to move it or lose it!! Enjoy.
    1603 days ago
  • LIS193
    Great plan - online friends are great but we do need face to face friends as well.
    1603 days ago
    I like your plan. I feel certain you can do the Carmel sauce. It's only tricky because you need to keep a close eye on it so you don't burn it.
    1603 days ago
    When I read the title, I thought that maybe you were going to start dancing during tv commercials.

    Something like that would probably help you with becoming less rigid. Also, you have mentioned that you rarely take breaks at work. I think that you should start taking at least one break each morning and afternoon, if only for a couple minutes. I feel that not taking breaks is part of the reason that you are losing your ability to move. You know the old saying -- "Use it or lose it."

    Good luck with the church and don't come up with some last minute excuse not to go.

    Have a good weekend.

    1603 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/26/2013 10:11:46 AM
    Sounds like a great plan. emoticon
    1603 days ago
    AWESOME!!! My dear, you're right. We DO need face-to-face friends too. Very much. I am so proud of you for taking the leap of faith to try the church. You know, the worst that can happen is it's not a good fit for you. I've had that happen too. So then you move on. You are worthy of being accepted and, in the church, you SHOULD be. If not, not right for you.

    Good luck with your recipes! I agree with you . . . John has a heart of gold.
    1603 days ago
    wish I was invited
    1603 days ago
    1603 days ago
    When I read your blogs and posts, I always think what a great sense of humor you have as you often make me smile with your wit. That gift should be shared with the world and not hidden away. Glad you're getting out there, you have a lot to offer.
    1603 days ago
    Congratulations on your plan. emoticon
    1603 days ago
    Keep up the good work!
    1603 days ago
    It sounds like a VERY good plan to me. I am sure that if you apply the 'baby steps' to this, just as we suggest with SparkPeople, you will soon make good inroads into reaching your goals :-)

    Kris xxxx
    1603 days ago
    1603 days ago
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