Friday, October 25, 2013
Well, the other day I was perfectly honest about all my excuses lately and kind of got a bit tough with myself. I need that. Letís face it Ė I was brought up tough and I need to be tough with myself. I will rely on you, my WONDERFUL spark friends, to let me know when Iíve crossed the line. You have never failed to tell me to ease up when I need to.
The point today is that I have to also be honest about my successes.
Before I started this journey, (approximately Dec 2011) I only had social interactions with family and people who drained/used me. I was 197+ (197 was the scale BEFORE Christmas, didnít step on it until over a month on Spark). I wore a size 14/16 depending on the cut. Tops were all XL or up (mostly up). I could barely walk around the block. I ate crap and felt like it. My life was work and a video game to escape ďlifeĒ.
One year ago I joined the Maintenance team (Oct 2012). I had started cutting out the users in my life. I was at 130 (the top of what I consider my acceptable range) and wearing a 5/6 comfortably. I could get into a 4, but most were too tight to be acceptable. My shirts were all smalls. I was running a 9.5 min mile (on average). I was happy and healthy. I was out in the world and living a real life.
This year, Iím up to 143 Ė so Iíve got a bit to re-lose. I can still were my 6ís, some are tight but most are wearable (see blog, denim ultimatum). My tops are small/med. There are very few I cannot wear. Iím running about a 10 to 11 minute mile but I am running. I only have those people I want or HAVE to have in my life.
So Iíve maintained an over 50 pound weight loss. I can wear my smaller clothes. Iím much more active. I have few but loyal friends and am working on expanding this group. I have you wonderful Spark friends. I have to admit, Iím in a much better place.
Iím also stronger and usually more confident. Iíve opened up in ways I didnít think I could but Iíve also learned to protect my inner self from being used. So being honest, I would say Iím running a B average here. Not great or perfect by any stretch of the imagination but OH so much better than where I started. Iím even learning to fight my depression. So Iím really proud of me.