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    BIGPAWSUP   125,028
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Honesty works both ways


Friday, October 25, 2013

Well, the other day I was perfectly honest about all my excuses lately and kind of got a bit tough with myself. I need that. Letís face it Ė I was brought up tough and I need to be tough with myself. I will rely on you, my WONDERFUL spark friends, to let me know when Iíve crossed the line. You have never failed to tell me to ease up when I need to.

The point today is that I have to also be honest about my successes.

Before I started this journey, (approximately Dec 2011) I only had social interactions with family and people who drained/used me. I was 197+ (197 was the scale BEFORE Christmas, didnít step on it until over a month on Spark). I wore a size 14/16 depending on the cut. Tops were all XL or up (mostly up). I could barely walk around the block. I ate crap and felt like it. My life was work and a video game to escape ďlifeĒ.

One year ago I joined the Maintenance team (Oct 2012). I had started cutting out the users in my life. I was at 130 (the top of what I consider my acceptable range) and wearing a 5/6 comfortably. I could get into a 4, but most were too tight to be acceptable. My shirts were all smalls. I was running a 9.5 min mile (on average). I was happy and healthy. I was out in the world and living a real life.

This year, Iím up to 143 Ė so Iíve got a bit to re-lose. I can still were my 6ís, some are tight but most are wearable (see blog, denim ultimatum). My tops are small/med. There are very few I cannot wear. Iím running about a 10 to 11 minute mile but I am running. I only have those people I want or HAVE to have in my life.

So Iíve maintained an over 50 pound weight loss. I can wear my smaller clothes. Iím much more active. I have few but loyal friends and am working on expanding this group. I have you wonderful Spark friends. I have to admit, Iím in a much better place.

Iím also stronger and usually more confident. Iíve opened up in ways I didnít think I could but Iíve also learned to protect my inner self from being used. So being honest, I would say Iím running a B average here. Not great or perfect by any stretch of the imagination but OH so much better than where I started. Iím even learning to fight my depression. So Iím really proud of me.


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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUMPINJULIE 10/29/2013 9:57PM

    Great blog.

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SOULFISH80 10/26/2013 10:45PM

    Honesty is always the best. It's hard sometimes, but I would be so proud to be able to say what you can say about myself. I value our spark friendship, and hope you can learn to see the wonder in yourself that we all see. (I'm hoping that for myself also!) Have a great day tomorrow.

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DOGLADY13 10/26/2013 4:44PM

    Nice self-assessment. Fact based. Realistic. You didn't call yourself names. You're doing great. It's hard to find the balance between excuses and knowing your limits. You'll get there. We all will, with patience and faith.

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CHERYL_ANNE 10/26/2013 3:56PM

    You should absolutely be proud of you because you come a long way!

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ANATASHIKI 10/26/2013 2:29PM

    you did and do great ! you're awesome Kitty! emoticon

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BONNIEMARGAY 10/26/2013 2:13PM

    I know you are writing about your struggle right now, but this is so inspiration. I want this!

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JAXMOMMY 10/26/2013 12:51PM

    I know you are a perfectionist, but even you, my tough buddy, cannot be perfect all the time! I am so proud of you! I'm more proud of how you have taken control of your own life more so than that great bod of yours! Do you know how many of us would kill to weigh what you do and to have some tight fitting size 6 jeans? Be proud and keep Sparking! You have so much of which to be proud! Wishing you success on your race today! Cannot wait to read about it! Hugs! Melissa

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TWEETYKC00 10/26/2013 10:54AM

    I am so proud of everything you have done so far and everything I know you can do in the future!

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RACEWELLWON 10/26/2013 10:24AM

    emoticon - What an Inspiration you are to Many !! emoticon

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NILLAPEPSI 10/26/2013 9:18AM

    A "B" average is better than an "F." emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STARTINGINLIMBO 10/26/2013 9:03AM

    You SHOULD be proud of you! I'M proud of you! You don't have to be perfect.
You'll get to where you're going. You are so worth it.
GREAT blog.

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MLH148 10/26/2013 8:12AM

    Wow! You are awesome. No doubt about that at 143 or 197 or 125. You're really inspiring.


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PHEBESS 10/26/2013 6:04AM

    YAY for all of those successes!!!!!!!!

emoticon

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STONECOT 10/26/2013 4:50AM

    A very good blog. I think that we need sometimes to look honestly at both our successes, and our less than successes. We only get one shot at life, so enjoying it is important, whatever the circumstances.

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CIPHER1971 10/26/2013 3:40AM

    Thank you - you give me hope for myself.

All the best

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BEAUTY_WITHIN 10/26/2013 12:54AM

    Glad to see you giving yourself some credit! It's about time! And let's pause for a second to remember the fact that you were told you'd never WALK again - let alone RUN! You've made amazing progress!!!

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WARRIORGIRL121 10/26/2013 12:12AM

    Honey, you've made so much progress... you have a lot to be happy about and I have no doubt you will continue to do great! emoticon emoticon

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EMI794 10/25/2013 11:57PM

    emoticon You have made so much progress! It's so inspiring!

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LAILATN 10/25/2013 10:45PM

    Thank you for sharing your journey thus far with us. Your honesty is inspirational - and what great work you've done, turning the course of your life around!
emoticon emoticon

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JUSTME29 10/25/2013 10:29PM

    You really are doing fantastic. You need support sometimes, and you are the support other times. Never forget that you are awesome just for being you.

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LESLIELENORE 10/25/2013 10:29PM

    You are doing so awesome! You might have some work to do, but you are already a success!

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LIVINGFREE19 10/25/2013 9:56PM

    You are doing awesome, and you have come a long ways!
You have grown so much also. (mentally)

Big emoticon

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1CRAZYDOG 10/25/2013 9:27PM

    Sometimes it really does help to look backwards to move forward! Good job! hUGS

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MJREIMERS 10/25/2013 9:26PM

    You should be proud of you! You are doing emoticon ! This journey isn't easy or for quitters, but you've prevailed and succeeded!

Like you, I've met some great people that are very supportive. I've also had to cull a few people out. That's life and once we start on this journey we realize that we are valued, we are important and we are worthy of every good thing we do and obtain.

emoticon job and keep it up!

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NGCHILD 10/25/2013 9:25PM

    We are usually the hardest on ourselves. Sounds like you are back on track.

emoticon

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CAT-IN-CJ 10/25/2013 9:23PM

    LOVE IT!!! Way to go Kitty!
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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