Friday, October 25, 2013
I belong to the 5% challenge. this is a challenge where we do ALL we can to lose 5% of our weight in 8 weeks. I am on the SUD (Spirited Undah Dawg Team and am the Challenge Leadah(CL).
Today we got the results of where it is we as SUDs fit in with the 11 other teams for the AMOUNT OF LOSS we did last week. I am BROKENHEARTED that the SUD team CAME IN LAST. We try so HARD to motivate our team.
this is REALLY MAKING ME THINK. How many on the team,,, may think as I did a yr ago,,, "OH WELL if I gain,,, I'll work at it later on losing". I was severely depressed,,, I had recently lost my Step Mum,,, we were very, very close,,, as Mother/Daughter. It HURT so much,,,,, LOVED YA MUM !!
But, than I realized the way I was eatin was ALL WRONG !! And that I WAS again signing UP for the 5% team, where we ALL write up our SPARK PAGE to reflect what our goals, hopes are,,,and how will we achieve them?
That made me STOP AND LOOK at myself. Was I LYING to MYSELF about my own goals I had set up? Had I set them UP to high? Or would I FINALLY take a GR8 LQQKIES at myself,,, and than ACT On goals? HOPES !!
I SHOOK MYSELF UP For MANY on the team where HITTING the 5% and I WAS NOT !! So AT ONCE, I started to TRACK daily and NO LONGAH using the MANY EXCUSES I HAD to NOT make it. "I was extra hungry, so I made an UNWISE food choice, but hey it tasted sooo GOOD" "I started at ONE cookie,,,,, and b4 I knew it,, I had eaten MANY" "I'll only have a LITTLE BIT of this" and ate and ate it,,,, so that on Sat's weigh in,,, I was HIGHER and than I'd write down things such as "I had a whoppie pie last night, I am so sorry". SHOOT !! I WAS NOT AT ALL SORRY !! IF I HAD been,,,it would of been as I standing there MAKING MY OWN CHOICE to EAT IT !! NO ONE Sits in my place with a GUN or WORSE (is there worse? LOL) at my head saying "YOU HAVE TO EAT THIS" !! NO WAY !! it's ALWAYS MY CHOICE !!
So now in the past challenge and this one thus far,,, I've REALIZED to exercise to the FULLEST I CAN (for I had at one point,, done "just enough to squeeze by",, that did me NO GOOD,,, again,,, I was simply LYING TO MYSELF about what it was,,, I was /AM TOTALLY CAPABLE OF !) and so now,,,,,,, I DO WHAT I CAN and MIX IT UP For exercise. I also realized that my FOOD CHOICES ARE MY OWN !! I can NOT blame this on ONE mEAL ,, from such things as eating out,, when I eat out,, I KNOW WHAT tO DO ! Get 1/2 of it, and box it UP for the next day or after meal ! its WAY to many cals to eat the whole thing IN ONE DAY !! Again,, NO ONE IS FORCING ME TO OVER EAT, but MYSELF !! I am the RESPONSIBLE ONE for this !!
ALSO For SLEEP,,,, we ALL KNOW how IMPORTANT it is, we get in QUALITY sleep of 7 or 8 hrs It's UP TO ME to TURN OFF the putah,,, ( I am quickly) and GO TO BED ON TIME !! usually 2 or 2:30Am,,, and than SlEEP IN TIl 9 or 10 :30 AM. I wake up OFTEN to use the ladies,,,,due to the diabetes,,,, but I go right back to sleep. There's a SLEEP TEAM On SPARKS which HELPED ME OUT GR8LY !! For I USED to sleep 10 mins a night to MAYBE 2 hrs if TOTALLY EXHAUSTED. Now aftah completely the team,, HONESLY with FULL EFFORT,,, I get in the 7 to 8 hrs. THANK YOU TEAM !! (look under Sleep team) make sure it's the actual team and NOT someone just talking in a blog.
So yes,,, I can NOW SAY,,, I AM ON THAT STUBBORN ROAD to LOSE,,,and it's MY OWN CHOICE !! Tonight I wrote to a member who has made their goal,,and I AM DEEPLY UPSET with myself,, that I HADN'T BY NOW !!! I SHOULD OF ,,, they DID and we started at about the same time,, same weight. BUT !! I AM DOING SO NOW !! I am DETERMINED to NOT LIE TO MYSELF AGAIN !! Where does that get me????
NO PLACE !! I only DISCUST myself when I have a really bad weigh in,,do NOT make the 5% goal,,it IS IN MY OWN CONTROL,, to this HEALTHY hitting my range DAILY on foods,,, catagories as I can,, and ALSO to exercise to my max,, that I can on each day,,,for there re days I am simply in WAY TO MUCH pain,,, for those who not know me,,, I have 4 back illnesses,,, so that walking is quite difficult,, and also have had 16 surgs on feet,,,and due for another one in Nov. Walking is very, very hard,,, still its NOT AN EXCUSE to NOT exercise,,,, I just do what I can in bed. AND THT's FINE !! Even the chair exercises,,, I am finding I can no longah do. FOOISH body is INSISTING I am now fragile as the Dr's keep saying,,,, and comparing my mid 50 yr old body to an "85 yr old womans,, and Diane,, she's WINNING". SIGH !! I've heard this from quite a few Dr's.
I WILL NOT GIVE UP !