Friday, October 25, 2013
I wish I could say I've been doing fantastic since my last blog. But of course, in my usual fashion, it's exactly the opposite.
I was really in freak out mode, if you couldn't tell by my last post. The stress was mounting, the work week was too much, and for some reason I just couldn't keep the anxiety and the pressure under wraps. I was dreading yesterday, because that was the day I was supposed to be officially leading the shift at work because both of the supervisors were going to be out. That on top of all the plans I had stacked on me weren't helpful. And of course, just because things weren't bad enough, I had to have the mother of all kick-offs for The Week That Doesn't Count. Turns out all that overwhelming stress was like, 85% hormones. The moment my body got past that phase, it was like everything boiled over and then I was just... fine.
Fine. Suddenly all of my anxiety and stress made absolutely no sense and I felt like a total idiot. At the very least the worst of it is over. The hormones are no longer in super crazy mode, and I was able to spend today, my first day off, doing completely relaxing things like getting my hair done (super in love with the new cut and color!), eating sushi, and splurging on TCBY frozen yogurt while lounging in my pajamas watching a movie. So nice!
Unfortunately I can't say I came out of this days-long ordeal scathed. I haven't tracked my weight since the weekend, and I have been straight up off the wagon since Monday or Tuesday, which is when I stopped tracking entirely. Yesterday was the worst: I had sushi for lunch with my company's COO instead of my usual protein shake, then dinner break was spent at this super cute, charming pub my co-worker and I discovered a few doors down from the office. First night was fish and chips (I only ate half my meal so I was proud of myself), but yesterday I ate a whole plate of meatloaf, peas and carrots, mashed potatoes with gravy, and a dinner roll. Top that off with an Irish coffee and two pints of beers at an after-work birthday party and I was swollen.
Today wasn't much better. I did a 160 cal protein shake for first meal, and had a boiled egg and a 100 calorie popcorn snack. Dinner was with a friend I haven't seen in a long time, though, and we went crazy and ordered about ninety dollars worth of sushi between the two of us. Follow that with about a quarter of a pint (maybe less) of frozen yogurt and the day isn't looking so hot. Better than yesterday, but not hot. I bet I've gained back the two pounds I struggled to lose in the past week and a half. Why is it so darn easy to gain it and so unbelievably hard to get it off?!
Well. No point in crying over spilled milk, as they say. The only thing I can do is resist the urge to snack on the leftovers and start today super fresh. Since there's a lot I have to do tomorrow (errands, get new tires on my car, find something to where to this weekend's wedding, hunt down a protein shake mix I like, etc etc), I hope I will be too busy and too worried crying over my dwindling funds to care about making bad food choices.
Getting through the weekend will be a challenge, too. The wedding is going to be in Austin, which is like, Best Ever Food Capitol of the World. All my favorite restaurants of all time are down there. How am I going to resist all of them?!
I guess I will just have to make a plan and stay strong. What else can I do?
Well. The last thing I want to do is lose this good day vibe I've been rolling with all day by thinking about all the bad decisions I have made in the past few days and how much weight I have gained and stand to gain. I'm going to go back to my movie, kick back, and prepare for a hopefully productive and successful day tomorrow.