Thursday, October 24, 2013
I realize a whole month has gone by since I blogged last, so my apologies to those of you wondering how I'm coping....
The good news is that I am coping better now, -- much better actually.
Hubby (....read EX) moved out on Sep 29th, so it's been a little while now. Overall it's been better not having him around and has allowed me time to be just with my own thoughts a lot more. However, I have still seen him plenty, and there have been issues that have come up that have sucked all the life energy right out of me.
He went away overnight with another woman (#2) and I coped by taking the kids to visit with friends 5 hours away, so that was good. Got lots of good outdoor time and time to reflect.
Turns out, 2 days later she called it quits on him -- smart lady! -- so I must say that made me smile -- despite the fact I know he's still looking for someone new. But at least he didn't snag someone new quite as easily as he thought! Of course, now that he's out of the house I will likely not know whether or not he's dating someone new...but that's probably better now.
We've alternated weekends with the kids, and so far that has been helpful for me to get an opportunity to re-group with myself and try to figure out my new life path....since that sort of thing is very hard for me to do when I have the little people around. I even went away to a friend's condo in Nanaimo for a weekend by myself, so that helped a lot too.
I must say I am really astounded by the outpouring of support I've received from all family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers (shop owners offering for me to sit down with them and commiserate over a glass of wine!). Even a very special local SparkFriend agreed to meet with me in real life (thank you -- you're wonderful and I am so glad we met!). And most recently, I was blown away by having received a gorgeous bouquet of flowers from my --- get this-- my Grade 9 Science teacher!!! (He's 81 now, and we've kept in touch for more than 20 years!). The beauty is that there is proof everywhere that people really genuinely care. (And this is coming from someone who only thought she had 1 or 2 true friends in her life!). And furthermore, each person offers some little tidbit of wisdom or insight or support that is unique to them. And together, I have the most amazing support network --- much bigger and stronger and more beautiful than I could have imagined in my wildest dreams. I am making connections that run deep and are setting up meaningful friendships for the future.
I am ever so grateful for all of these wonderful people that have touched my life at my most vulnerable and sad time ever. There is definitely a silver lining to every cloud.
On a different topic....my weight loss was great....yes, I said was. I lost 27 lb, which I was beginning to feel quite proud of. And between getting busy and preoccupied with the emotional garbage and other separation-related stuff, I thought I would try not tracking for a while and see how it goes. Well, it went well for the first 10 days, and I continued to lose....a couple of pounds. Then, I had a drink of wine here, a treat there, not enough protein one day..., then another --, a few days without enough veggies...and not putting as much time into exercise....and well, since I wasn't tracking, and wasn't home weighing myself every morning...I didn't really notice but the scale is going back the wrong way a bit, so I'm at an overall 23 lb loss again.
So I really have to pull myself together, make exercise a priority again (because it does feel good, and I did miss it the first week or so after slacking off) and just start tracking my food intake again. It makes all the difference for me.
Of course, it's 11pm now, and I haven't tracked yet for today. I think I'm going to go to bed rather....tomorrow is another day.