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Tough Love Time

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

This is a flounder. It should be my namesake right now. This is SO hard for me to admit here and probably why I’ve been “hiding”. I’ve been talking the talk but not walking the walk. I’m not exercising, I have slipped into old eating habits, and I’m buying into all my excuses. I feel that in admitting this I may be letting many of you down. I’m sorry but I’ve hit the wall of depression. That is not an excuse, just a fact. I’m depressed, I’m sore (weather change reminds me of ALL my broken bones), and I’m having a hard time feeling very good about myself.

I know what to do. I know how to do it. There is even a good sized part of me that WANTS to do it. So why am I giving up on myself? And if I’m such a fracking inspiration – why the frell can’t I inspire myself? (Did enough of my inner Southsider geek come out in that sentence?!?!)

So do I go through my excuses and blast them out of the water? Seems like a waste of precious time. But, since wasting time seems to be a specialty of mine right now we’ll hit a few biggies.

1) It’s cold! - Hey dumb a$$ you live in Chicago. Duh, it’s cold and it’s going to get colder. You know this and it is not a shock. Put on some warmer clothes.

2) My body hurts from the cold! – Yeah, it does. You feel every broken bone and are reminded of why you left the army. So what! The pain is less when you move it so get up off your ever-widening rump roast!

3) It’s dark out! – You own how many flashlights, headlamps, and LED clips? Get over it. You weren’t afraid of the dark at 6, besides you are probably the scariest thing out there anyhow!

4) David laughs at me when I do a DVD/Video! - So get strong enough to punch him in the arm where he stops.

5) I don’t have time! - You are caught up on Farscape, Walking Dead, Coven, Mentalist, Elementary, and Dr. Who. You watch at least 3 horror movies a week. Time is not the real issue here.

6) I’m hungry! – No you’re bored. See 1 thru 5 for things to do.

7) I miss my ____(fill in trigger food here)! - You want to eat the muffin or look like the muffin?

Ok, so I think that makes my point. I know better than all my excuses and I just have to DO IT.
Easier said than done!

I need to get back to what I was doing when I was successful. That means blogging – every day
for accountability. Filling out my time/tracking sheets ALL day and no TV until I’m complete for the day. Closing the kitchen at 8 pm. Throwing out all trigger foods (or force feeding them to hubby if he brings more home).

It’s time for some TOUGH love on Kitty. All this “you can do it”, “I love me”, “it will be ok” CRAP is getting thrown out TODAY. I know I can’t ask anyone here to make me accountable, I have to do it myself. I need to earn back my self-respect. That starts now.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    1580 days ago
    I hear you i'm going through the same thing it is easier said than done but I know we can do it. emoticon
    1601 days ago
  • BABARR67
    Okay, as someone who's been out of control w/food until last week's tracking challenge, I particularly love #7! I got back in control with the eating, but not so much the exercising-- and I've signed up to run a 5k on .Thanksgiving... at this pace it's gonna take me an hour and half LOL. Now that I read this, I'm going out for my run... and I live in Rochester, NY. Pretty lousy weather here lately too so I get that totally! BTW I'll prolly forget that you were the military chick by the time it is Vet's Day so I'll thank you for your service now. HUGS. Take care of yourself, BEV
    1603 days ago
    You've got a great plan there. Maybe you should print your 7 Excuses and Excuse Busters and put them in prominent places to remind yourself.

    1605 days ago
  • JUSTME29
    I so could have written this - just a few minor changes in the shows I'm caught up on, part of the country I live in, and places I hurt. Otherwise I'm pretty sure you're channeling me and I'm sorry for that - somehow my psyche leaked out all over you.

    We are both determined to make today better than yesterday, and tomorrow better than today though, and that is what will get us there in the end.
    1606 days ago
    It's hard to admit to not being the person everyone thinks you are. We all have our excuses and whether we choose to let them keep us down is up to us. I understand the depression, the pain from broken bones with the cold but you know that sitting around doing nothing is only feeding into this and your other excuses. The good thing is that you realize you are using your excuses to not exercise and have admitted to not being the person everyone thinks you are. You are fallible just like everyone else and that is actually comforting for all of us to know. emoticon Your tough love approach is good. It's time to treat your exercise like your child and the excuses are your child's homework. That means no fun stuff like watching movies or television until your homework (exercise in this case) is done!! Now go get your warm clothes on go out for a walk / run with your girls. Put on your exercise clothes and exercise to your dvd's. Who cares whether David laughs at you or not. Who is the one that will be losing the weight?? It will not be him sitting on the sidelines laughing at you. Tell him, if he thinks it's so easy then he should do it. He will not and then you say (insert sarcastic remark here - you know you can come up with something to say!!) After all, sarcasm is a specialty for people like us. emoticon NOW GET OFF YOUR DUFF AND GO DO IT!! NOW!!!!!!!
    1606 days ago
    It takes so much courage to admit to feeling like a failure than it does to share your success.

    Yes, please start doing boxing DVDs and using David as a heavy bag until he stops shaming you for trying.
    1606 days ago
    DARN!!!! I can't find the I DON'T AGREE emoticon--lol ........... U R NOT a flounder so I will not tag U that ........... or slacker or anything negative .............. We've all been in a slump or whatever as long as we don't fall in a grave!! emoticon we can dig our way out .........JUST PRETEND ONE OF US is calling on you asking for help and what do we do?? ................. treat U as if U wre one of us ......... sound good? ........ cos U know you will get called on .................... Now go bundle up warm and U can admust .................. I mean adjust ............... emoticon
    1606 days ago
    we have all been here ..... you are NOT a failure .... just human like the rest of us! What have you done for yourself lately?? You will get through this, you will!
    1606 days ago
  • MLH148
    No platitudes-- just this
    I totally get # 5 -- how much TV do I watch a day?!?
    You are so very valuable to all of us, even if not to yourself right now. emoticon
    1606 days ago
    Wow! How great is your blog! I wasjust starting out to draft a blog myself that would dovetail perfectly with yours. "Tough love"! Just what I was thinking. A question - do we also need to uncover the reason we dont feel worthy or entitled to be successful? Are we going to keep falling short if we dont know Why we get to that self sabotage point? Just wondering. Thank you for sharing! I'm going to go make my tough love list now. emoticon
    1606 days ago
    why don't you run on place while you watch those movies? I know it doesn't compare to running outside but it's almost like the treadmill and you can watch those shows and move. get rid of the all or nothing thing. make a list and chose something to do , at least one until you get used to it again emoticon
    1606 days ago
    Okay, because I think you are awesome and I care about what happens to you, I'm putting on my hard hat and here goes.....

    get your a@@ in gear lady. It will not all be okay until you make it okay. Decide right now, 10 minutes of activity even if you have to break it up 2 minutes at a time throughout the day. And go grab another glass of water.

    Okay, hard hat off and HUGE hugs! Good job putting all your excuses out there. I am a BIG # 5 (although out of all that, I only watchc the mentalist, when he cut that guy's finer... AHHHH! ). We all use them, now blow them out of the water, one at a time.

    Imagine us all standing behind you, giving you loving nudges!

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1606 days ago
  • CHERYLA2012
    Good for you!
    1606 days ago
    Okay, this is when you need to beat yourself up a little. Not enough to make yourself more depressed. Just enough to kick yourself in the tush and get moving again.

    And maybe splurge on a gym membership for the coldest months? Heated pool to swim laps? Elliptical? Or cross-country skiing really burns calories and keeps you super warm (until you stop, then you freeze).

    (And when I dance instead of walk, I wait until DH is napping so he doesn't laugh at my moves. Although he does like when I do the twist, and will join in for 15 seconds.)
    1607 days ago
    Kitty, that's a good plan for listing out your excuses and pitfall areas and then coming up with solutions to deal with them! Very good! Now, I KNOW you can do this! emoticon You can - so go for it! emoticon
    1607 days ago
  • _JODI404

    I really like the idea of listing the excuses on paper and then busting them with the truth. It will make it harder to use that excuse in the future. I'm sure "time" is one nearly every one can relate to using at some points.

    You may not feel deserving, but I really do admire your tenacity and believe in you that you can do this.

    1607 days ago
    I think I've seen you come to a similar place a few times, and you always manage to kick back into gear!!!!! A little time off might be a good thing to kick start your body back into gear. Also, have you thought of a trampoline? Not too expensive, then you could run/walk fast while watching tv. I got one and I love it. I actually miss it really bad since I busted this darn ankle. Thanks for all your support, btw, I really appreciate it. We all know you can do it, but I also think a little relaxation here and there is really healthy too.
    1607 days ago
    Great job on pushing pass the excuses!
    1607 days ago
    You are so right emoticon . I'm sending emoticon to let you know I care.
    1607 days ago
    Kitty ~ I have been in a holding pattern of sorts since Mom died & not doing my best for me!!!! It is SO hard to break out of that! !!! CAN do this!!!! You have more support than you realize!!!! We are all here for you!!!!
    Hugzz ~ Jae
    1607 days ago
    I'm slowly dragging myself out of the same kind of thinking. I've bought enough clothes in bigger sizes. I live in Iowa so I can relate to the cold. Ugh!
    1607 days ago
    Forgive yourself for your humanity, sweetie. We've all been there. We all beat ourselves up for not being perfect and for kidding ourselves into believing the lies. Every moment is an opportunity to start again. I know I have started over countless times this fall.
    1607 days ago
    Kitty, you have much more courage and strength than you are giving credit for! It really IS hard to get off that tenderizing rump roast, but as you already know, the only way to get moving is . . . to get moving!

    You can do this. You punched holes in all your excuses. Now to believe those words!

    HUGS and you know you have every one of your "peeps" in your corner rooting you on.

    1607 days ago
    Are you sure your not Me right now ?? Honestly , Kitty - today - I felt the same way - OMG - I went for a small ride and FROZE my a$$ off - no kidding I was thinking to myself - what the heck am I getting myself into with this Tri ??? The other night or since Oktoberfest - I was out at an old haunt jamming to some good rock and roll and having a great time , when all of a sudden it hits me - Your not allowed to enjoy yourself - that doubting Thomas Voice keep creeping in and not mention its was saying load and clear - "Who are you kidding doing a Tri " - I do not even feel like winterizing the Garden and I know full well that I have too , cause no one else is going to do it - Maybe its in the air - over here in Chi Town- I just awoke from a nap and saw your email in my box that instantly put a HUGE SMILE on my face emoticon and I am allergic to FISH - so your name is not Flounder emoticon . I know that you are an inspiration to many including me . Everyone goes through a slump - that does not mean that we are bad - its very possible that we are Human !!! Besides you live to close to me for me to let you derail any longer !!! Let me know if you want to hook up to get your fins wet - our bones can Hurt Together emoticon they have a hot tub and its very Cheap - Love Cheap - The Niles Center - emoticon Huge Hugs - Karen emoticon
    1607 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/23/2013 8:26:13 PM
  • DELIA38961
    thnx for sharing ...I face the same obstacles all too often
    1607 days ago
    I don't like the cold either! You can get past the excuses. How bad do you want to avoid going back to where you started from?
    1607 days ago
    You are always there to inspire others. Now it's time to start thinking about yourself. YOU should come first !! I'm worried more about your depression, than anything else you said. Don't let yourself continue down that road ~ do something about it emoticon When that is taken care of, everything else will follow.
    YOU are worth it !!

    1607 days ago
    I know emoticon I don't handle the cold very well either, so I'll just put on my movie & jog in front of the TV. Nice & toasty in the house, got to watch my movie & got some exercise in. Win, win, win.

    1607 days ago
    We all get derailed. Don't beat yourself up over it, just get started again.

    Big emoticon
    1607 days ago
    Been there. Done that. We CAN do this!!!! Get going again, it wasnt' that long of a setback. Refer back to this blog whenever you need some inspiration- you gave yourself plenty of it! :)
    You FEEL better after exercise. Just put the layers on and have fun peeling them off the warmer you get as you exercise, lol! Then shower and put the layers back on as needed. :)
    1607 days ago
    I have a hubby who knows better than to make fun of me working out! One thing he does not do to annoy me! Give yours a big hard punch! You were boxing at one time, remember? I know how it is. I think many of us get slack during this weather and time change crap! But, we must, must, must get off those ever widening rump roasts and just do it! And, here I am procrastinating my ST today! So, enough is enough for both of us! Let's do it! Come here and bitch, whine, whatever, but get back to that girl in the mirror! None of us out here care if you are doing it or not.... It is you who has to care the very most! Sending hugs and a big kick in the ass as I do my indoor walk with Leslie Samsone!
    1607 days ago
    Let's get going Kitty Kat dear! I know it hurts and the cold sucks, but if you let things go now, it will only be harder later on and you know it!
    1607 days ago
  • JUNEAU2010
    1607 days ago
  • SHELL1400_85
    Thank you very much for sharing. It is hard sometimes to admit when we are making excuses. Every excuse you listed I am sure I have listed at one point in time. The important thing is to realize that we all make mistakes, and you have realized that you are using excuses and you want to get past that. Good luck, you can do it just stay strong!!!
    1607 days ago
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