Wednesday, October 23, 2013
It's been a while since I've blogged, and it's just further proof of my fizzling motivation. I'm not entirely sure how to get out of this funk; finding the little nugget of inspiration has been difficult.
My eating has been somewhat out of control. I still measure things out, but I don't track them - then I'll eat a bunch of mini candy bars. So weird for me. I'm actually good at eating just one or two, but eight? Something feels off inside my body. At first I thought it was my period, but it persisted even after that week was over. I'm not pregnant, so it's not that either.
Like I said, something feels off. I went to the doctor, and I'll be having my blood work rechecked early next month, particularly my thyroid to see if my meds need readjusted. I've been tired and SO irritable, which is also why I thought it might be my period but again that week is over and I should have returned to baseline. I also have a knot in the back of my leg, which my doctor thinks is just a broken blood vessel, but it's in a location that makes walking uncomfortable.
My weekly weigh-ins have not gone well since the BLC started. That said, I've only gained in .2 increments with a maintenance since last week. I'm trying not to be hard on myself since I recognize my faults and can't expect a big loss when I'm not measuring and tracking, but what I do see is how much weight I could have lost if I'd stayed in my calorie range; basically maintaining with my eating habits is pretty miraculous, haha.
I am also struggling with support. What I mean by that: everyone is supportive, but nobody really asks how I'm doing, if I need an extra push, if I need someone to talk to. That is probably my fault - I don't often broadcast my need for help. I also don't have a lot of friends, haha.
Regardless, I'm tired and I'm fed up with feeling crappy all the time. Still no pain free days since May. Ridiculous. I am feeling a little better today with a plan (blood work to start) and a nice big salad for lunch. Veggies save the world!
I will get through it. It's just going to be a pain until I find my strength again.