Wednesday, October 23, 2013
Sometimes, it takes something totally out of your control to make a difference in how you look at your effort toward life.
Recently, my husband has been dealing with some health issues diagnosed long ago but virtually ignored until, about 2 weeks ago, they reached a critical point. He has been fortunate enough to dodge a bullet this time, but he still is facing life changing decisions about his eating habits, exercise habits, and overall lifestyle.
I have been his primary care giver for the last 3 weeks since he has been home from the hospital and this morning, I found myself angry with him that he isn't trying (in my opinion) to help himself. That's when the email came through with the photo attached of the dress my brother's finance has picked for their wedding.
Faced with the reality that the sizes available just may not fit me, I was struck by the reality of where I am in my weight loss journey. It is a trip that has been started a million times and always ends the same - with me no further along and resigning myself that I am the best I can be.
And then it struck me like a bolt of lightning...the anger I felt toward my husband not helping himself was directed as much at myself as it was at him. Have I really been trying to help myself or have I, all this time, made excuses for each of my failures?
So now I find myself at my own crossroads. And I am choosing to actively help myself. What better example could I set for my kids and really even my husband in his recovery? I have 213 days until my brother's wedding.
Sometimes in order to make the most progress, we have to go back to the beginning and start again choosing to want to help yourself.