Wednesday, October 23, 2013
I just woke up from a rare beautiful dream. I dreamed that I was in a crowded room with Brandon Flowers before one of his concerts and he was playing his guitar and singing songs to me and talking to me before his show. He was so kind and warm (much as he was when I saw him in concert in August) and he mentioned to me that he practiced playing his guitar and singing as often as he could not only because he wanted to be a better musician, but because he loved it so much. When I woke up, it made me think about my weight loss journey. It seems like all the previous times I have attempted to lose weight (and even succeeded in most cases) I never had a really warm outlook on it. I enjoyed exercising, but I hated "eating right" and I was never proud of myself for the weight I'd lost--I was always thinking about the weight I still had to lose. The Dalai Lama says "Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." This is true of being kind to yourself, as well and I think it's time to put it into practice.
Since I was awake I did my Sparkcoaching for this morning and it suggested making my weight loss journey an adventure. To approach it in a way that is fun and that I can be passionate about the way Brandon Flowers is passionate about his music. I'm no longer going to worry about "good" and "bad" foods and instead eat from intuition, in the Buddhist tradition, but of course I'll work to add more fruits and vegetables, as well as water every day. I'll only do workouts that I enjoy and can be passionate about. And I will always stop to be thankful for the weight I have lost so far and not worry about the weight I still have to lose.
I also joined the Official Stress Busting Challenge and it advised me to start a stress journal. As far as stress goes, I've managed to organize my lifestyle in a way that I'm not living a high-stress life because my bipolar disorder is badly aggravated by stress to the point where I end up in either the hospital or the psych ward or both. Yet, I still feel anxious and stressed every day by minor things ("Just walking through the front door makes me nervous." --The Killers) like altercations with son's father or other daily things. My main strategies right now for stress relief are reviving my meditation routine (20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening) and daily walks. It forces me to have quiet time with myself and breathe, sort things out and realize that my fears aren't always so insurmountable.