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Tuesday, October 22, 2013

I am so beyond stressed it is unbelievable. I just feel like I'm being pulled in a hundred different directions at once, not really able to accomplish anything, and I feel like I'm disappointing people (and myself) in the process because I can't be everything for everyone. I have two jobs and everyone wants/needs me to be in top form and spectacular right now and I just CAN'T. Plus, I'm still so worried about Husband's injury. Worker's Comp is only paying 2/3 of his pay, so we're losing a few hundred dollars each month. We NEED that money. He still hasn't had his MRI yet. If he needs surgery, he will be out of work for a very long time. 95% of everything is placed on my shoulders right now. I honestly feel like crawling into a hole and just waiting for it all to go away on its own somehow. Obviously, that won't happen. I'm so tired. I'm so stressed. I'm thinking maybe it's time to start letting that second job (cleaning) go. I will wait to get the results of the MRI first. If it turns out that he needs surgery, I think I will just clean during the summer only, when I am out of school. I just don't know how much more I can take. I guess going back to school in January just isn't going to happen, either. There's no way I can add on one more thing. All I know for sure is that I am doing the very, very, very BEST that I can do.
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    I'm sorry. It will get better. See if you can give yourself a bit of a break - Time to yourself.

    1611 days ago
    You will get through this. First of all learn to let go. Delegate to other workers, let go of expectations and concentrate on doing the basics. Tell your coworkers/boss that this is just a bad time right now. People expect us to perform at 110% because, as women we always do. This isn't the time for that.
    Dealing with the strain of your husband's health issues is enough to cause stress. Add money and time to that and no wonder.

    Having had the entire world drop out from under me with 2 small kids and a low paying job just about did me in. But I managed to get through it and I know you will too. Ask for help, even if only for support from us here on Sparks.
    And blog or vent as needed because that helped me. I journaled all the time!

    ps. Hang up a note on the fridge..This is only temporary and I will be back to school when things settle down because I deserve it!!!
    1612 days ago
  • SHARON10002
    Here are some tips that might help relieve the pressure you are feeling:

    1. Give Up Perfectionism and the Need to Look Good

    When you’re in a period of great shift and change, resist any desire for things to be perfect, complete and tied up in a pretty bow. Ride the wave as best as you can, and give up the need to look good in the process. Settle for pretty good instead of perfect. Cut yourself a little bit of slack so you can breathe.

    2. Keep Your Sense of Humor

    Stop taking yourself and your situation so seriously. There’s nothing like a good belly laugh to energize you and bring more joy in while you cope with the chaos. Try to see the humor in some of your daily situations. Watch a funny movie or TV show.

    3. Stop Focusing on the Negatives and Feel Appreciation for the Good

    Celebrate the abundance of opportunity, and all the little good things that happen each day. Appreciate how your current challenges are calling forward new wisdom, skills and patience from you. Try not to focus on the worst case scenario, and try to see some positive glimmers of hope in each day.

    4. Aim for Flow, Not Control

    When you have a lot coming at you, there is no way you can control or manage everything. When the surfer sees the big wave about to crest, she knows her job is just to get into position, and ride that wave as best as she can. Your goal in these periods is the same thing - to go with the flow of energy of what is happening as best as you can. If you stop to try to figure things out, or manage things, you'll likely to end up getting crushed by the power of the wave, and thrown off the board and pushed down toward the bottom. As Jon Kabat Zinn says, “You can’t control the wave, but you can learn to surf.

    5. Focus on Your Key Priorities

    When you are feeling bombarded and overwhelmed, it’s important to try to stay centered so you can think clearly. Take some deep breaths to circumvent the adrenalin rush that kicks in when we feel stressed our our instinctive “flight or fight” response gets triggered.”.

    Ask yourself what your top priorities are today and focus your attention on them. Are there any “big levers” are at your disposal that can yield a big result? For example, making a call to someone to help you, or blocking 10 minutes now to plan your day can go a long way to help you navigate the chaos instead of feeling swamped by it.

    Start your day with 5 minutes of deep, slow breathing and quiet time to allow your mind to settle. During the day, whenever you are beginning to feel anxious pause and take 3 deep breaths, and exhale slowly. This will immediately bring more oxygen to your brain and help to clear your head, and slow down your heart beat.

    These tips are excerpted from
    I hope they help you.

    1612 days ago
    I have been through similar times. It is hard. My mistake was not taking care of myself. I should have seen a counselor for help, bur I didn't. Paid dearly for that omission.
    Best of luck. Just do what you can and let the rest slide.
    1612 days ago
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