Tuesday, October 22, 2013
I am slowly slipping backwards, I can feel it, in my thighs, I am at that point where I have been making awesome progress, so I think this isn’t so hard, become a little bit lax with my measuring, workout just a little bit less intensely, start to eat just a little bit more, and then oh no, what happens the results stop, and eventually I stop even trying because I get discouraged that I see no progress.
THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN!
I could feel it coming on for a few days now, I haven’t been making the best choices, still in range, but still eating a bunch of junk, which leads to wanting more junk, and skipping on good meals so I can eat more junk. I am putting the kibosh on it today!!! I am not going to slide into my black hole where I justify stuffing my face with whatever I want and sitting on my behind all day long. If I really want to change my life and reach my goals I have to keep pushing myself beyond this point I have to recommit today, I have to remind myself why I want this, why I deserve this I have to keep pushing forward, no matter how hard it is, how much easier it would just be to say, I can only do well for a while and then I have no will power to keep going. I think I am scared to really push myself, but that is what I will have to do if I want to achieve my goals, push harder than I have before. No one can do this for me, no one can make me change but myself.
I had the realization this morning what was happening and how I was “playing” the system, by the numbers everything appears that I should be losing weight, but I am setting myself up for that to stop happening, and I need to fix it NOW.
Bring out the measuring spoons and measuring cups! Everything I am eating today is being measured! I am putting more thought into my nutrition choices today, feeling like I am slowly changing the thoughts in my head, and refocusing. I think I might be winning the battle today. I need to continue to listen to those “bad” voices and notice the bad patterns when they start so I can continue to fight with myself. I am not going to have a start over event again, because this time I am not going to stop! I have made commitments to myself and my 5% challenge team; I am going to keep those commitments!
I think it is important that I am noticing the self-sabotage before it shows up on the scale, it means I am evolving. Once I stop see progress, I know that is when I stop trying to make progress happening, but if I think I am doing things that should bring me results, and they do not, then I say to myself, what is the point, I am doing my best and it isn’t working, so why bother trying.
The truth I am noticing though is that I may not have been really giving it my best, and just going through the motions, so that when I fail I can say, well I did the best I could, now I might as well going on an eating spree instead of trying so hard to do something that is never going to happen.
I AM NOT going to fall into this rabbit hole, I am rebooting some of my eating habits now before I get discouraged. I am going to keep pushing myself, because I CAN do it! I CAN be at my goal weight.
• Eat the food I packed for lunch and snacks
• Eat the healthy dinner I planned
• Go for a walk at lunch and enjoy some crisp fall air
• 20 min workout after dinner
• Sewing for the rest of evening to keep my hands busy(and finish Halloween costumes)