I remember reading my children a book about a 'Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day'. I looked it up and found it on Amazon:
That was my day yesterday. Why I can be in a positive state of mind one minute, but be so very tempted the next? Why am I invigorated by starting a meaningful walking program, but filled with despair when I step on the scale? How can I be so motivated and encouraged by what I read from my SparkSupport community and then allow self doubt to overtake my thoughts? Yesterday, I succumbed to my destructive food temptations.
Why? Well, I've felt myself sliding, AND I did not see the results that I wanted on the scale. Double whammy. Instead of shaking it off, I choked. And then I ate some more.
So what to do now? Well, I'm awake at 3AM with an upset stomach, massive headache, and filled with those same awful emotions that I've felt before. I'm fairly certain this could be categorized as a food hangover. I have to -- I want to-- change this pattern. So my plan for today is to get back on the main road and keep moving forward. I'm not beginning again, just accepting that my inner compass got turned upside down again. (Hmm...I do have a horrible sense of direction...maybe there's a connection).
I'm a list maker and boy, do I need a list. So for today I will:
1. Drink lots and lots of water. Maybe that will help flush the sugar out off my system and reduce this awful throbbing in my head.
2. Walk for a half hour at lunchtime. I tried to tell myself that my zero pound weight loss last week was muscle mass increase. Please. I walked for 3 days. Muscle mass is still a wish and a prayer away. But I do want to be physically active, and walking at lunchtime is a realistic way for me to do this. So my walking shoes are under my desk and out I'll go.
3. Track everything I eat. I'm a 'guesstimator' and to date, I've figured that if I stay under or on the low end of my calorie range, that will give me a cushion. Ha. Do I think that I was born yesterday? The only cushion that gives me is the one on my rear end. And I don't like that cushion so much anymore...
4. Stay off the scale for two weeks. Not for avoidance, but to allow me to focus on eating the right foods, in the correct proportion, and without obsessing on my long term goal. It's too overwhelming right now and I have to get my mind off of it.
So on I go... Maybe I'll re-read that children's book. As I recall, it had a happy ending. And that's what I want too.