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    SDLEE514   18,820
15,000-19,999 SparkPoints

What is wrong with me?!

Monday, October 21, 2013

I feel like absolute crap this morning. And (hopefully) not in a sick way. I am just absolutely exhausted, my back is pinched and in pain, and I kind of feel nauseas and I have no idea why. It's all I can do not to curl up into a ball right now and fall asleep at my desk.

I haven't been on track calories since last Wednesday. So much for my only 7 days this month that I allotted for. I don't know why its so dang hard for me to just say no and not eat what I want to eat. Thursday I binged on popcorn and gingerale after having a pretty good day. Friday I went grocery shopping and cooked a healthy homemade dinner, then splurged for pumpkin pie ice cream (THAT I BOUGHT--WHY?). Saturday and Sunday were two of the days I had originally planned as cheat days, Saturday we went to the amusement park and yesterday we had our Sunday night dinner with friends.

My weekly weigh in last week showed no progress, nor gain though. Which I was expecting, so I was happy about that. However, I think I fell into the mindset that I don't really *need* to lose weight therefore I don't really have to care what I eat so I didn't. And now I'm mad I let myself do that. I still want progress, and pumpkin ice cream won't help that!!! Nevermind that I'd still like to be sticking to modified paleo. ugggh.

I don't really have a game plan. Last week I needed to mind and body detox, which I guess I'm still doing. After the sort of fiasco with my friends last weekend I'm just feeling "I'm over it, it happened, it's done, whatever." No use wallowing on the hurt or what she was thinking. I didn't drink this weekend. I do feel better emotionally when I don't drink and get more exercise (duh-right?!). Why then is it hard to stick to that in order to keep yourself feeling better??!

I want to streak until Thanksgiving. Realistically, I know that probably won't happen. But I would love to have progress before then. And I don't think I'll be able to exercise today because of my back. I'm so frustrated. Well at least I don't want to eat because I'm feeling too nauseas (lol...). One day at a time...

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
STFRENCH 10/26/2013 9:14AM

    I find it more difficult at this time of year: the cold weather and the dark mornings and evenings have a tendency to get me down (and I do want to curl up in a ball and never stick my nose out again!) so I do tend to drift towards comfort food - I try to keep it healthy with soups, stews or casseroles but sometimes, a warm apple pie is the only thing that's going to do the trick(!)

Try to eat as many colourful veggies as you can (aim to eat a rainbow) - this will boost your vitamins A, E and C levels and will support your immune system at this time of year.
Also, do some very gently stretching for your back - and treat yourself to a warm bath with essential oils to relieve the pain in your back too.

Hope you feel better soon emoticon

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CLRWILLIAMS25 10/23/2013 12:53PM

    There is nothing wrong with you! I feel like the hardest part of the journey is getting and maintaining motivation. It's a tough balance between accepting your body and wanting to better your body.

Can you do yoga when you back is acting up? It may help with the regular life stresses, especially if you inhale and exhale with the moves. Hoping we get a little sunshine soon. I swear I'm photosynthetic and can't function in this overcast weather!

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LIALEEPANTHER 10/21/2013 4:27PM

    Ohh how well I remember that mindset! It is the bane of the last 20lbs or so, right? You get distracted, you think 'well there's loads of people far more overweight than me', you feel like you can coast where you are happily enough and you slip up once or twice. A few times. Then a few days later you don't know what you were thinking. You're still not happy with where you are and you've now maybe even set yourself back.

My only advice is just keep going, keep putting one foot in front of the other and try for as much consistency as possible - not perfection, just as much as you CAN! And be realistic... Popcorn and ginger ale don't sound too bad!! It could have been worse.

If realistically you already know its not realistic for you... maybe don't do it, tone your plan back a little? Streak til Thanksgiving with something you KNOW you can stick to. Like staying within a range of calories or hitting the right macronutrient balance - and if something un-paleo fits into that, and you really want it, maybe its ok now and again, to prevent the bingy feelings.

I really hope your back feels better soon, get some rest!!

Hoping your coming week is a turn for the better for you, sounds like you've been under quite a lot of stress so take good care!

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KELLYFIT123 10/21/2013 1:00PM

    There's nothing wrong with you!

I too have been struggling with healthy eating lately, so I feel your pain.

With the new features on the start page to SP, I added some goals: Eat fruit at breakfast, eat vegetables at lunch, make half my plate veggies at dinner, and no dessert. Those last 2 will be tough, but I hope to see improvement over time.

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BONOLICIOUS2 10/21/2013 12:25PM

    That pumpkin ice cream... did you go grocery shopping hungry?! I know I tend to grab "stupid stuff" like that when I'm there and hungry.

Good for you for being over that friend drama. Move on! Be happy!

One day at a time is right. Some days are better than others, but each new day is a chance to make better choices. You can do it!!!!

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SQUIRRELLYONE 10/21/2013 12:03PM

    Ugh, I hear you! I've been finding it so hard to lose the little bit extra because I know I'm "still healthy". I don't feel as awesome about myself, but I'm healthy! So... I self-sabotage. *sigh*

One step forward, two steps back!

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PMRUNNER 10/21/2013 11:11AM

    Hang in there, you can do it! Like you said, one day at time.

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HEALTHY-SPARK 10/21/2013 10:30AM

    Hang in there today. Everyone's entitled to have these kinds of days -- feeling crummy and unmotivated etc. When I get into this sort of funk, I try to make a deal with myself. Okay, I will allow myself to feel whatever I am feeling for this one day (or one afternoon or whatever). I do try to keep the trigger foods in check. So it's okay to have a not so great day -- try treating yourself to some gentle yoga type stretching, or a nice relaxing walk, or curl up with a book this evening for even half an hour. Sounds like your body needs some attention and personal pampering. Don't let these last few days throw you totally off your track. :-)

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