Monday, October 21, 2013
Okay, business first:
It's day 17 of the squat challenge today. 150 squats, 100 crunches, 135 s plank and 50 pushups. I'm really starting to feel it but it's still manageable as long as I have music going or have something to watch. It felt really good to get through it.
I'm still not doing the 3 sun sals in the morning as I had planned. I really should get on that to help loosen up the soreness I'm starting to feel. I do plan on doing a short, easy yoga session later to help as well.
I also picked up the 28-day Bootcamp on here. First day today. Did the 10-min cardio kick video and it was fun. Had to modify the burpees and mountain climbers to go slower than Nicole was but it was good to get it all done. Looking forward to tomorrow's workout.
No cardio today as it's my day off. Tomorrow, I get to bike for about 75 minutes and add to my virtual trip miles.
Eating has been okay today. I ate quite a bit yesterday but still stayed within my range. Today I'm still under my minimum calories and have no idea what I'll be eating to meet that yet.
And now on to ranting:
A small background. I recently got home from a 4 month trip to visit my fiance. The time I were together, we had a blast. Getting to know his son, hanging out with his friends, adventuring through forests and caves and cooking and cleaning and just playing house for the most part. We had no scale and maybe got a bit too comfortable being lazy and snacking and enjoying each other's company (We'd spent three months apart before this last visit) so my weight climbed over that time. Trust me, I was aware of this. My jeans were a little tighter, I felt pudgier and I did what I could when I noticed it was starting to creep up. My fiance and I started working out together. Going jogging, eating better.
It was a bittersweet parting. I was sad to leave him and excited to see my family but little did I know what I would be coming back home to.
As soon as I stepped out of the airport, one sister says, "Wow. You're as big around as our brother." My brother is pushing 200 lbs at 5'7. So, no. I wasn't. Sure, I was aware I'd gained weight but was that really called for? My brother was even standing there as she said this so it was a strike against both of us if you think about it.
Others were much nicer about it. Another brother was sweet about it and joked that we both needed to get back into running because he'd packed on weight too. So I laughed and told him to grab his shoes.
My dad was silly too. He said, "You look..." I answered, "Well fed?" Then he laughed and said that he had seen all the food I'd been cooking from my posts online and he'd gain weight too in my shoes but he said as long as I was happy and healthy, he was happy for me.
But other instances, I just don't understand. I was at my sister's office and her boss walked in. He did a double take and said, "Whoa. Did you get big?" I was like wtf? But I had to keep a straight face and politely ignore the question to ask how he'd been.
Another time, one lady I barely knew (met maybe twice in my life) at church saw me walking with my mom and called my mom over and said as I'm standing there, "Your daughter's gotten fat." And my dear old mother responded, "Oh.. Yeah. Well, you know. She's stopped running and being active but she'll start up again and lose it. Don't worry." The worst part? I'd already lost 5 lbs since I got back at this point. So instead of feeling like I'd made a difference, she decides to come along and just stomp all over my achievements.
I don't know what sense of entitlement this woman even had to believe she could say this out loud. I gained 15 lbs while I was away. It's really none of her business. And why did my mom feel the need to explain my "misfortune" to this woman who by all rights and purposes she should be telling off or ignoring for being tactless?
Then again, my mother is the same woman that keeps dictating my wedding dress. "No, you're too fat to wear that." I understand her wanting me to look presentable, but the way she says it is as if she expects that I've just let go forever and I can never get back into shape. Then in the next heartbeat, keep stuffing food down my throat.
It really gets my blood boiling. What makes people think they have the right to say these things? Does it make them feel better about themselves? So I gained a few pounds. Does that make me a lesser human being than they are? And the way they say it sounds like they're saying, "I don't know if you've looked in the mirror lately, but you're a whale." What the hell is up with that? I don't get it.
It's gotten to a point that I don't even want to go out to see my friends because I don't want to be told I've gotten fat. I've only seen one friend since I got home, which is sad because in a couple months I'll be leaving this place for good when I get married. But I really don't want to deal with the ridicule.
To spin this into a positive, I am going to take all their mean comments and use the anger to fuel my workouts. I will not let their lack of tact push me into the ground. I'm going to show them what I am made of. I am going to wear the dress I want for my wedding. I am going to get back into shape. I am done putting up with their BS.