Monday, October 21, 2013
If it's not one thing, it's something else, and that's how my life has been for the most part. I'm not trying to be a pessimist, but when I look at the facts, will I ever get ahead and just enjoy my life?
About a week ago, I experienced a life-changing event for me... I honestly believe I was healed by God of my personality disorder. I was in awe, and I still am. However, I feel the devil stronger at work in my life, trying to make me doubt the power of God's love for me, and also causing turmoil on the home front. While my personality disorder was a big deciding factor in whether or not I was happy in life, it didn't make or break my happiness (I'm finding out). I know it's all about my perspective on life, and we all have a choice to embrace the right attitude to be happy, or at least the happiest we are capable of being. I don't want the latter. I want to be happy most or all of the time! After my light bulb moment of healing, I was so happy for several days after, but now I find that happiness dwindling to what I should chalk up to as everyday life. I don't want to accept a mediocre state of happiness! But, what am I supposed to do in order to achieve a superior state of mind? I still have so much to learn about the new me. While my thoughts don't race to the fears that once held me captive, I also don't want them to be replaced with a lingering sense of depression. Please, please, please pray for me and my emotional well-being!