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Hubby Helps Me Again and Again

Sunday, October 20, 2013

This blog isn’t about anything new. It’s a theme that we see in other people’s blogs. You have definitely seen this in my writing, because for me this is a pattern I repeat. I think I’ve made progress toward getting my thought patterns to improve. I just want to share with you how this episode played out.

Yesterday I’d begun anew to be on track. Good day. I was on track. This morning before getting out of bed I was excited, thinking about all the great options I have for exercise. Lots of DVDs to choose from, upstairs I have a bike and a new elliptical. Weights, too. Outdoors I can walk or take a ride on my new bike. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all the choices, and never settle on anything. But today was different. I was sure I was going to do something.

When I got up I put on my workout clothes, still feeling great. Then I caught sight of my mirror. You know how your eyes zero in on your problem area. All I saw was a big belly. I groaned internally and felt defeated.

Instead of reaching for my mental affirmations, I reached out to my wise, understanding and patient hubby. What would I do without him? He so often has to help me through all the mental torture I put myself through. He is awesome at it.

Here are some elements of our discussion. My self-critical mindset has been with me for 40 years, and I’m definitely having a hard time changing it. I can psych myself up, talk the talk and walk the walk for a time and then regress. We discussed how I’m not having the right motivation to exercise. The choice to exercise in order to look good to other people isn’t working for me. I easily get off track. Sometimes I don’t care what others think, and then I don’t feel the urge to better myself. So I don’t exercise or eat well.

He mentioned reasons to exercise that are more productive. Do it because it feels good. Do it for my mental health . . . I’m happier if I work out. Do it because it makes me feel strong . . . especially how it helps me not have back pain. He reminded me also that I should feel good about taking care of my heart, and overall health.

He ended by reminding me that exercise should be a regular part of my daily routine like brushing my teeth. Be committed to it and not let other activities crowd it out. If I’m too busy to workout, I am too busy.

As I said, none of this discussion I had with him was new to me. I have to hear it again and again. I just wish it would click. I get my mindset steered in the right direction and within days forget all these good thoughts. They dissolve and I’m back at square one. For now I’m on the upswing.

I went and did my new Jillian Killer Abs DVD. Got it a month ago and finally tried it. I did this because I wanted to. Not for other people but for me. It was a good workout! I’ve had a good food day, right on target. I’m going to fit better in my swimsuit in no time.

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    emoticon Thanks for sharing!
    1551 days ago
    What a good hubby!
    1551 days ago
  • KANOE10
    You have a wonderful husband. Great job on doing your dvd and working to stay motivated.

    1551 days ago
    Your husband is very wise and he said all the right things!

    I wonder if it could be that when you do exercise, you do too much at once? So you ask too much of your body / motivation? Which would make it harder to start next time. Could you do half of what you usually feel you should do? A quarter? Do other things that you find easier? Settle on doing ONE thing (the same thing) every day for say 1 month or 3 months, like a ten minute walk? And do that 'no matter what'?
    So you can have more of a feeling of consistency and contentment.
    If you do the same thing every day for a few weeks it becomes a habit, you miss it when you don't do it, AND you develop an image of yourself as someone who exercises daily.
    1551 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/21/2013 7:31:11 AM
  • LARISSA238
    I'm glad you have such a supportive hubby. I don't know what his mindset is, but he just grunts when I say I'm going for a walk. I think it's because i remind him of what he needs to do. He needs to lose weight to get gastric bypass surgery but he weighs too much for the table. At least I think that's the problem.
    1552 days ago
    You did it! Maybe one day you will trust YOUR inner voice and not need to rely on your husband's voice!
    1552 days ago
  • CHERYLA2012
    You will get there. I have faith in you. You know you will get there, too. And so what if you have to hear it again and again. It's all good especially if you're doing it. Self-criticism, like emotional eating is something so familiar to us that it is completely foreign to us to consider another way even if that other way is directly in front of us. One day it will click. Until then, your anchor and rock will help you out. That's one of the beautiful parts of marriage!
    1552 days ago
    You should always do it for yourself or it doesn't work, don't care how you look to others care how you see yourself in that mirror when your eyes hit that problem area and keep that thought in your head to motivate you.
    It's great to have a supportive hubby, I also have one and not sure what I'd do without him, he keeps saying to me I just want you to be happy I love you just the way you are and is always telling me to stop putting myself down it makes him feel bad.
    We're lucky to have found great guys, KEEP PUSHING!
    1552 days ago

    Good for you. It's always so wise to seek others out when you know there are areas where your thinking may be faulty. That way you can get pointed in the right direction again. It's great that your husband is your compass, and I hope that us Sparkfriends help, too.
    1552 days ago
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