Sunday, October 20, 2013
I donīt know if I am right but the idea of eating "relaxed" for me is somewhat like the idea for an alcoholic to drink "relaxed" ... or call it "Normal".
I am very bored with tracking for the moment, especially since I found that exercise does not give the calorie benefits that tracker promises, still I want my exercise minutes for health and it seems like tracking is a motivator.
There is nothing physically wrong with me, I digest nutrition as I should and have no food allergies not even sugar. In another surrounding I would have no weight problems, but in the world I live, with the conditions I have and with my personality I will eat too much if I donīt create a working system not to. That system varies depending on many things so it needs to be flexible and adjusted from time to time.
I sometimes wish I was busy,busy busy with creative and interesting things, because then food would not be interesting. But then I remember the first years of my paper as well as the times when I was a public lecturer on tour, both things was really creative and fulfilling and occupied me totally but eating was chaotic and I gained 40 kilos during those years so it is something wrong with that solution.
Another thought is that I have lost the best when my life depended on routines working between eight and five, not having too many commitments outside work and myself - I do have that opportunity now because I can work regular times, and the theatre is the only thing apart from my dog that have claims on my free time...
I can also see that depressed ties - during cancer, separation or economical crises, has not influenced my weight that much - true, I have not lost and true that it has given a slow rise of weight but compared to the massive weight gains I have had through my chaotic but creative periods it is nothing.