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Saturday Oct 19, 2014 - Change is Hard

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Change can be so hard sometimes. I sometimes find it hard to step back when it is my step daughter and grand babies. I did spend the day with them today along with hubby and cooked.

I had to be careful of how much I ate, I did, but wasn't too hard, but sometimes it is.

I have been working on my book again. Wow, is it really getting exciting to write. I have added so much to my book and made so many changes, yet much is the same.

I did a chapter, but first, we drive or commute a long ways and everytime I go over the bridge here, there is stop light you have to stop every morning. The building had figures staring out at you and just gives me the creeps and I think it is haunted and that something bad has happened. It is a bar down stairs of it too. We ate lunch their one day and it was good food and there was a story about why they call it Billy's. Well, I was curious as to why the upstairs was closed off. I still had and have an eerie feeling. This Billy isn't a good character by the story. Well, I decided to do some research and guess what, the upstairs was closed up for a reason, it is haunted, and Billy was really a bad dude. My psychic intertuition was correct. You will have to read my book once I get it completed to find out...but wow, and it made an excellent chapter in my book.

Ok, back to change, I am finding that doing my sugar levels has been important. I have so far succeeded in keeping my numbers in range. My doctor gave me a parameter, much lower than the recommendation with Diabetic association. The lady (nutritional nurse) felt it was to low or hard, but it hasn't been, and my doctor understands me and what issues I have had in losing weight. He knows I work extremely hard at it and that I don't take it lightly and understands a little bit of the disease. He knows that I will do whatever it takes to get my numbers in range if at all possible. If not, then yes, I need meds, but so far no meds and I am doing it. It is teaching me too, meaning I am learning even more about my body.

I hope I can shed some pounds. I am trying. Changing is so hard and I do it and have been doing it but my scale isn't budging and it is so frustrating, and if I go off for a bit because of frustration and want to give up, well I can't because it will make me sicker and make my body die some more. I hate the fact that my body is dying. I hate the fact that I am so unwell, and YES I am doing amazingly well for everything and for my condition, I am thankful for that but it is frustration.

Yes, just some venting. It keeps me staying on track.

I think I am irritated too, tonight. I went over to step daughter's and took my new oven, everything all prepared, and only to discover she lied, her place was disgustingly a mess. I had to clean just to bring in the oven and had to clean out microwave...I told her she better darn well appreciate it. I told hubby next time, I will turn around and go home. I will NOT cook in filth...and I mean filth. She had garbage piled, bags of it sitting piled high. I made her take them all out. Anyways, we left with her place looking decent and she stuck doing dinner dishes.

I made the best brussel sprouts I have ever eaten in my entire life. I took fresh ones, put in bowl, drizzled some walnut oil (expensive but good) and sprinkled Johnny's salad / pasta elegance on it, not a lot, just a little and took a tbsp of real butter and stuck in microwave (7 min total of cooking)....OMGosh they were the best. Ok, my roast and potatoes came out fabulous too, I could not eat the potatoes, but did it a little roast. The Nu Wave Oven is WOW, totally awesome and am so glad to now have an oven to use.

I used a small dish (rectangle glass) and it fit, with roast in it and it was perfect for the oven and no mess to clean in oven! I loved it! I made reeses peanut butter bars and left a nice large pan of them for daughter and grand daughters. I had a tiny piece and called it good.

I am having to cut out a lot of my coffee / tea, etc. Eating a lot of veggies and lean protein or small amounts period. I have learned that when my sugars are low, I am really hungry and when I am full, my sugars are higher...just don't want them to go too high....or too low. So far so good.

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