Saturday, October 19, 2013
I'm trying to write myself out of this one.
I had big plans for today..... wash, walk the dogs, clean, organize. And instead, here I am on the couch, just up from a nap. And depressed. I did go to Morning Prayer, pay bills, clean the kitchen. But I have not tackled the larger things.
My sons will be here tomorrow. One lives an hour away and the other -- who has been home for the last few months -- is on his way out this week and I *may* see him at Christmas. This is a good change for him and I do support this. It is time for him to go (this was a boomerang home).
But oh my goodness, I will be alone then. Now, I have lived alone during the week before. But my husband was home weekends. Now, of course, we are getting divorced. So, this is less transitional, but real.
We'll put the house on the market next March or April. We've done alot to clear out but there is more to do.
I feel alone and sad and scared. God, save me from being angry!
I am depressed and need to move.
So, my eating today has reflected that. I ate cake and I'm at 1500 calories or so. Within range, but not the best nutrition. I'm not hungry and I'll eat cauliflower for dinner and have another pot of tea.
So, right at this moment, I need to run an errand. Then I will come back and put a load of laundry in and figure out what I will ask my sons to move and organize tomorrow.
And I need to pray to accept this situation -- instead of being dazed, amazed, depressed and angry.