Saturday, October 19, 2013
I havenít been able to commit as much time as Iíd like with the site, and itís showing. Iím seeing peeks of my ďdanger numberĒÖthe next set of 10s on the scale. I will not and can not go back.
Since reaching goal-ish range Iíve also been dealing with end of summer crisis, which has thankfully passed, and the start of a new school year. I LOVE my class this year; I lucked out with a great group Ė but the task masters and working environment turn what should be a fun, exciting, and happy place to work into a stress inducing, impossible to succeed, negative, toxic place. I MISS teaching. I canít do anything about many of these things, but I can choose how I react to it. Some weeks I do really well, then, others, Iím just about ready to blow. Thankfully, because I have such a great class I am able to find the positive in just enjoying their company and watching them learn each day. Donít get me wrong, I certainly have a few challenging kiddos, but Iím hoping I can provide a little of what theyíre lacking and Iím determined to see them succeed. If I had the challenges that some of my colleagues are dealing with I donít know if I could get up and go to work each day. My students are the only Ďthingsí (reason?) that keep me going in this environment. SoÖitís not great, but it could be worse. Iím trying to enjoy and find the good in what I can, and really working on letting go of what I canít. Itís just exhausting working in a place where youíre always Ďreactingí rather than preparing, and always dealing with the consequences of putting the cart before the horseÖon things imposed by others. Ok, ok, ok-ayÖenough of thatÖ!
Big news for tomorrow! Itís the Flutie 5k!! And, my husband and I were able to convince (bribe) my youngest son (who is on the autism spectrum) to walk it this year!!! We picked up our bibs this morning and he agreed to join us. As I was filling out his registration I started tearing up. Another milestone crossed. He had been digging in his heelsÖdidnít even want to come and watch us (crowds, too many people, too busy, etc.). Iím so excited he agreed. My oldest son and I will runÖrace to the finish line, so I can get some pictures of my husband and my youngest crossing. If thatís not incentive to run fast, I donít know what is. Iíll be a blubbering idiot, Iím sure. I better bring some tissues. I hope to run faster than I did last year, but this new development puts all of this into a different perspective. Iím so excited and proud of my family.
Thatís the latest here. Iím going to try and catch up here on the site tonight and see what my sparkfriends have been up to. Though I havenít been active on the site, I am trying to at least spin that wheel and update my status once in a while. I truly appreciate the comments and check ins from you folks. Your actions, though they may seem small to you, mean OODLES to me! Seeing that quick hií or Ďlikeí on my feed helps remind me to stay on track. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart. Iím going to try and catch up some throughout the evening (between carting my oldest to his homecoming dance, birthday shopping for my nephew, etcÖ) and I am setting a new goal of not only spinning the wheel daily, but also browsing my feed daily, as well. Time to baby step back in and see what other folks are up to Ė this source of inspiration and motivation has been missingÖit is so helpful! Not only thatÖTime to reciprocate some of the love youíve been sending my way. Again..THANK YOU for helping keep me on track!
Enjoy whatís left of the weekend, everyone! Fingers crossed Iíll run like the wind tomorrow!