First of all, I want to say for all your comments.
Your comments helped me to pull back from my emotions and initial knee-jerk-reaction to the rats email far enough to be able to get focused again.
I also liked the idea about responding with kindness. So that's how I replied.
If she shows up at the meeting at my house next Monday morning I can greet her just as I did last week (but I will NOT eat any goodies she might bring!)
This is her problem, not mine. I refuse to own it or buy into it.
If she chooses to be rude to me to my face - which I don't think she has the guts to do in front of witnesses - but if she does, I will politely tell her that her comments are inappropriate, out of line, and not acceptable in my home. If she persists, I will ask her to leave. But I hope she doesn't.
But this has been a good grounding exercise for me. I refuse to give someone else the control or leverage to make me become something other than who I really am. I will not surrender my dignity. My value and self respect is not dependent on whether she likes or approves of me or not.
Good comments for sure!! ......... I hope you give us an update on how it goes Monday! ............ (rude meanies just never win--but good to let her know you have boundaries and she is, after all, in YOUR HOME!!! ........ 1007 days ago
You don't need to explain a "No" to anyone you don't live with or work with. I guess the real question is why do you care about her response? Do you expect an inheritance from her? 1007 days ago
Keep your level head Cathy. If she persists with this attitude come Monday, I think just a simple reply of "That isn't a very nice or kind thing to say" will put her in her place. Good Luck 1007 days ago