So now that I am back here....I will elaborate on a few things that have been going on in my world over the last few months. Yeah, yeah...I retired an office after 20 years of being there, I was on unemployment for about 2 seconds (Ok, months) and I decided to drop it because it was a p.i.t.a. to play the "claim game" to keep it open "just in case" I was unemployed again within the next year...ridiculous nonsence really IMHO...don't even get me going on the stupidity of how they do things there. Anyway, I started up my own direct selling business for extra cash, and I have 2 part time jobs... nothing like a busy person being busier than they can handle and then get thru getting the family back into the school-zone... so guess what? I was stressed and WAITING PATIENTLY for the day when things finally settled down.
So things have finally settled down. Whew!
SOMEthing was missing.
And no....it wasn't exercise.... that has been missing for months now.
At the beginning of October, I looked at my stressed out teacher husband (you have no idea, unless you live with one, what the new "core" curriculum is doing to teachers these days - the joy of teaching is basically gone. Very sad.) and it clicked in my head that we, as a family, have lost our joy.
We lost our joy in being to scattered and too busy and too disconnected with one another.
Again.... very sad.
Sure, we are there, running around, volunteering for each kid's activity (hubby assists with each kid's activity in some way, shape or form - whether it's running the Pack, or Assistant coaching football, or being on the Troop committee)... and I am working 2to 3 nights a week... so my voluteering days are limited, so I get karate drop-offs and the string ensemble rehearsal drop offs. Yup....we are constantly moving and running and from what I hear, it only gets worse the older they get!!
But I digress... back to finding joy.
We went camping this past weekend and while it was still littered with the various activites of sports events for the weekend - we were forced to be a family and have fun while hanging in the popup and making fires for roasting marshmallows.
It was wonderful
And it also got me thinking of why we have been so stressed out...and how my "joy" of sparking was all but extinguished... how my body was being affected... and how all of that was playing with my head in one giant mind F---. (yes, you can use the F-curse right there)
I lost my own joy.
Brass tacks: I am maintaining, without exercise, without Sparking, without any help... but something is missing.
I miss the community. The likemindedness. The comraderie. The cheering of one another on.
I also miss the "me" I was when I was just starting maintenance.
I miss the figuring it all out part. The challenge of fitting it all in. And yes....I miss the body I had when that was going on too....because I was more active and under my pizza dough stomach, I still had a 6 pack that was rock solid... one that noone could see at all, but it was there! I swear it was! It's gone down to a 3 pack now, btw, but I am hoping the muscle memory will be there as well. ;)
So I decided this past weekend to stir up what I wanted to do 3 years ago. School and learning to better myself and others was there, but took a giant back seat because of work, family, and stress of how to actually go about going it...and that was with what I thought was a pretty good plan. I might as well have gone back to school full time to become a doctor because that is how daunting it was to do the whole Registered Dietician route. Nope....not going to work for me... so life came in and swallowed me and that dream up & put it on the waaaay back burner...not even on a simmer at that point either. The burner was turned 'off'.
This week I signed up for a year long course to become a Certified Health Coach. Yup, I did. It will help me do the other thing I want to do, besides coaching people like I do on here, but I will actually have something to "back it up" besides just Sparking and Maintaining for the last few years. With my other knowledge in my other field, I have a seriously solid background for an assembly workshop that has been mulling and spinning around in my head for years...one that I can actually visualize myself carrying out and doing for actual monetary compensation! Imagine that?!?! It's hard for me to actually, because I always just give give give....but I'm older and wiser now...I know better and deserve better too. But with that...I digress... because really, it's about helping people and whatever I get, that is OK with me since I am planning on doing this as a side gig until things take off.
Slow and steady wins the race....every time, as far as I am concerned.
So my joy today has been the walk I took...and the new world that I am undertaking with this new course.
Amazing how your mindset can change with just one simple thing or action.
Amazing how your heart and gut can tell what is right and wrong with something too.
So there ya go my old Sparkfriends....I hope you find some joy today and write about it....and if you have none that is visible, I hope you take another look - at another angle - and open your eyes, because it is there to been seen... you just have to want to see it.... and if you really DON'T see it...then it's time to make some joy on your own...no one said you couldn't do that either...