Friday, October 18, 2013
Everyone comes to SparkPeople for all kinds of needs. Typically, we have part of the pie but other parts were missing. For me, I feel support and encouragement was missing from my life in order to make my journey successful. I joined SparkPeople and BAM! I lost weight with the encouragement and support found on this site. Basically, SparkPeople (you guys and gals) believed in me when I no longer could.
After a bad relationship that tore down my self esteem, I am starting to find myself again. To build ME back up again. My current boyfriend honestly is very supportive. He thinks I am an amazing painter so he encouraged me to start selling my paintings. I never thought someone would want to spend money for my paintings. Time will tell on that front.
Anyhow, I have been running more and have decided I want to run a half marathon in March. This half marathon would mean overcoming alot of past poor memories. The first thing my boyfriend asked was if I could afford it. Now, mind you, I am extremely poor and money is very tight. The half marathon costs $60. In addition to that, he doesn't understand why I would pay that kind of money when I can run 13.1 miles by myself. I tried to explain it's a sense of accomplishment. He used to run cross country in High School and has even dabbled back into after I showed him proper running form.
This is one of the harder things about being in a new relationship. Sometimes you project your past relationships onto new one. Past boyfriends have not wanted me to exercise or to run during a bad day. They even have said running could injury me. Now, I am trying to figure out if he with me or without me. I think he is with me because he encourages me to work out and take my time. Like to not worry about it taking time away from us. It's difficult to sort out this question: Does he support me?
Is he also one of them?
Does he not support me?
Is he really just worried about me not having money because he knows it stresses me out alot?
What does support look like?
For me, I think support looks like going to the race with me. Not running necessarily but going. It also means listening to me. Encouraging me.
And, why do I want to run?
I want to run because...
It's a sense of accomplishment.
I need to prove myself to myself all over again.
I haven't ran still my Grandma's passed.
My Grandma went to my last half marathon I have done.
My worse half marathon experience was the one I am looking to train.
I told a friend I would.
I need a goal to aim for beside weight loss.
I haven't ran a race since I did not run Grandma's Marathon even through I was registered.
You, my friends, have the best advice. So, out with it.. what do you think about this.