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    JENNIEONFIRE   3,963
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Saying goodbye and saying hello

Thursday, October 17, 2013

So today was a very hard day for me. I had to say goodbye and cut all ties with my "best" friend of 14 years. It was probably one of the hardest things I have had to do but it was needed in order for my own personal happiness. This friend is getting married in Feb and asked me to be maid of honor but then things turned sour. I was expected to pay for a engagement, bridal and bachelorette party and unfortunately im a grad student with a basic job so I had to tell her that I couldn't afford that...I got pretty much shut out of her life when that happened. Then I was expected to go to the dress store by myself to buy the bridesmaids dress. I felt used, unwanted and awful about myself and when I tried talking to her about it all she did was yell at me and have her fiancÚ do the same. I pretty much could tell for earlier experiences about how she has treated me that things would one day turn out this way. Today I have had enough, and I want to continue down the path of finding my own personal happiness. To do so I realized I have to let go of being friends with her in order for my own salvation. She is like a dead weighted negative energy that floats by me reminding me that I am not capable of doing things that will promote my happiness. I feel like shes never really wanted me to be happy and could never be happy for me when I am happy..

So here I am October 17, 2013 breaking my chains. I feel really really good and sad all at once. All day I have been trying to avoid emotional eating and I did a really good job at doing so. I am really happy with myself and the personal growth I have made this year...small changes!

I also have been really trying to test this full body theory out of mine (I NEVER take full body pics) but I want to start excepting myself for who I am now.

Here is a pic from today :) I am happy when I see it, no one can stop me!

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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JILLIANISREADY 10/19/2013 8:28PM

    Losing a best friend is hard. I've had this happen to me.

But now I know they were not true friends to begin with and WE have plenty of other people out there who care about us MORE and ONLY life us HIGHER.

It will be beneficial in the long run. Good luck with everything!

You look beautiful in your picture!

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BELLSES 10/19/2013 10:37AM

    So sorry your friend treated you like that. She had unreasonable expectations, and doesn't sound like the best of friends. Glad you were able to do what you needed to do.

Your picture is gorgeous.

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_BABE_ 10/18/2013 7:37PM

    It's too bad that by telling her you couldn't afford all the expenses involved with her wedding that you lost an old friend. By the sounds of it she has probably been an ungrateful friend (oxymoron) for sometime so it's best you stood up for yourself. emoticon

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TREP13 10/18/2013 1:45PM

    Cutting a friend out of your life is hard. Sometimes it feels harder than losing a boyfriend, especially when that relationship is the longest one you've had. I went through this a couple of years ago. The friendship was toxic and the girl was not a positive influence in my life. A weight was lifted when I "broke up" with her but it was still hard. I miss her sometimes. I think about reaching out to her but then I remember all of the hurtful things she has said or the way she treated me and others and it reminds me why I ended the friendship in the first place. Good job releasing yourself from her and good luck with the healing process.

Also, great picture at the end. You are glowing!

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FERRETLOVER1 10/18/2013 7:31AM

    As hard as it was for you to do this - it was absolutely the right thing for you to do! You don't need to surround yourself with people that don't care about you. There are many, many people out there who will love you and care about you.

You truly look awesome in that picture - I can see the power in your eyes!

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WINDSONG~ 10/18/2013 3:21AM

    You are now in control and I have had to do what you did but with my sister. Hard, sad but I am free to be me.

You rock! emoticon

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FIGHTING4IT 10/18/2013 1:16AM

    I know this was hard for you and you have come so far! These are all important steps leading you to a better and healthier life!

emoticon

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SHAMROCKY2K 10/18/2013 12:31AM

    It IS hard to break those ties but you need supportive friends that bring you UP. You look great.. and have that positive attitude that can help you in your journey.
emoticon

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STEPH-KNEE 10/17/2013 10:57PM

    Taking full body pics is a huge step and I have so been there. Always telling people "from the chest up" when they take my pics lol. Those days are behind me and I'm glad yours are too because you look great! :D

So proud of you for giving your friend the heave-ho to protect yourself. I have had to do myself and it is so hard but when you know it is the right thing it makes it a little easier to follow through. I am sorry you lost a friend but proud of you for taking care of yourself first. emoticon

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JENNIEONFIRE 10/17/2013 10:55PM

    Thank you ladies I totally appreciate it!!! and holy spelling grammars....I guess that happens when I am writing in a hurry :)

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MINEA999 10/17/2013 10:54PM

    Yay for breaking the chains that are holding us down! I know it must have been so difficult to have to sever those ties but I give you huge kudos for recognizing that this relationship was not beneficial to you and for doing something about it! It's one step on a journey that will reveal the new you!!!

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MEGANM_07 10/17/2013 10:45PM

    Losing a friend, or what you thought was a friend definitely sucks! However, its worth it in the end to have all that negative energy out of your life. It will only benefit you in the long run. Hang in there and surround yourself with good people rather than finding comfort in food. I have faith you will succeed!

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ALICEART2010 10/17/2013 10:43PM

    You look beautiful!

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