Thursday, October 17, 2013
So today was a very hard day for me. I had to say goodbye and cut all ties with my "best" friend of 14 years. It was probably one of the hardest things I have had to do but it was needed in order for my own personal happiness. This friend is getting married in Feb and asked me to be maid of honor but then things turned sour. I was expected to pay for a engagement, bridal and bachelorette party and unfortunately im a grad student with a basic job so I had to tell her that I couldn't afford that...I got pretty much shut out of her life when that happened. Then I was expected to go to the dress store by myself to buy the bridesmaids dress. I felt used, unwanted and awful about myself and when I tried talking to her about it all she did was yell at me and have her fiancÚ do the same. I pretty much could tell for earlier experiences about how she has treated me that things would one day turn out this way. Today I have had enough, and I want to continue down the path of finding my own personal happiness. To do so I realized I have to let go of being friends with her in order for my own salvation. She is like a dead weighted negative energy that floats by me reminding me that I am not capable of doing things that will promote my happiness. I feel like shes never really wanted me to be happy and could never be happy for me when I am happy..
So here I am October 17, 2013 breaking my chains. I feel really really good and sad all at once. All day I have been trying to avoid emotional eating and I did a really good job at doing so. I am really happy with myself and the personal growth I have made this year...small changes!
I also have been really trying to test this full body theory out of mine (I NEVER take full body pics) but I want to start excepting myself for who I am now.
Here is a pic from today :) I am happy when I see it, no one can stop me!