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Ah ha! I did smell a rat!

Thursday, October 17, 2013

If you read my blog a couple days ago about the lady who brought the cake to the Monday meeting at my house as a peace offering, and I commented that I wasn't sure if it really was a peace offering or a set up . . . .

My initial indication that there might be something not-to-her-liking was the previous week when she emailed me pushing off another of her tasks on me to do. When I said no, her reply was "Fine. I'll take care of it."

Hoping I was reading her wrong and jumping to conclusions I emailed her a replied "Oh, thanks for the giggle. That just brought back visions of when my daughter was 9 years old and replied 'Fine' when asked to take out the trash."

Well she's been emailing me all day about stuff she wants me to do for her committee that I did not sign up for. After the fourth "no" and my explanation that I had explained to everyone at the meeting, I wasn't taking on any more than I already have going on, she responded with a snippy "Well, excuse me. I guess I didn't get your memo. I won't bother you with anymore requests."

I have not replied as yet. But I have a long list of possible responses.

I am half way tempted that my first response to be

"Did you really intend your last comment to come across as rude?
If not, then try rewording and resending it.
If yes, then bring it on!"

I'd really like to hear from you. Am I over-reacting?
How do you think I should handle this situation?

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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    It could be how you are reading her comment. Without facial expression and voice inflection, who knows how she meant the comment. Being my type of person, I take everything very literally, which is often not how I mean it.

    Maybe no response, is the best response.
    1585 days ago
    emoticon emoticon
    1588 days ago
    You've had a lot of advice and the bottom line is, what will make this situation better for you? I'm of the opinion in MOST situations that by dropping it, you leave the ball in her court and you also leave her with any bad feelings. She gets to wonder if her rudeness had any impact on you at all - or is she just not that important. And by leaving the situation alone, you get to see if she comes around in a bit and is nice to you again.

    On the other hand, some people just hold a grudge forever unless you escalate the situation and let her know what you think of her.

    It's always hard to decide.
    1589 days ago
    When I have a bad day, I prefer for people to cut me some slack and just forget about it. I'm usually embarrassed enough when I look back on my bad behavior and don't want to be reminded of it. Some times I think I have chronic foot-in-mouth disease coupled with toxic tone syndrome.

    How would you want a friend to handle it if the situation were reversed, and you were the one who had been snippy?
    1589 days ago
    Wishing you relief!
    1589 days ago
    This makes me think of the old song lyric's, What part of NO don't you understand! These kinds of scenarios and people are exactly why I do not take part in committee's.

    good luck! and I agree.. ignore her and just do what you can do and no more..
    1589 days ago
    I ditto what GardenChris said. I would take the higher road! Good luck!
    1589 days ago
    this power struggle can't continue unless you engage in it..... SOOO if you stop responding to her and just drop it she loses the control over you..... you respond and she still controls you!

    1589 days ago
    I don't think you are over reacting at all. She is being rude and trying to manipulate you into doing what she wants. I hope she will finally leave you alone.
    1589 days ago
  • GABY1948
    I do agree with FELINEBETTER...but no matter what, when in a situation like this I always try to remember, "don't return evil for evil".

    Personally, I would just let it go, it's better for you and it will probably drive her crazy...but she will get over it.

    Have a GREAT Friday
    1589 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/18/2013 6:35:25 AM
    People who cannot say no often feel put off by people who can, sadly. I so admire your not taking on more tasks than you want. I would say 'I'm working hard right now not to over commit. I'd appreciate your understanding." That is hard to argue with and ends the conversation.

    Good luck! Holding onto our integrity in the world can really be a challenge.
    1589 days ago
    What a witch emoticon

    I read all of the comments so far, but I can't remember who all said what - oh no, am I getting old! emoticon

    I think she was pretty snippy in her last e-mail and I am sure that hitting her up the side of the head would feel pretty good to you, but like one person said, you need to be careful that you don't really piss her off or sides might be drawn amongst the group which would be sad. With that being said, I hope that venting to your friends here has helped.

    You could ignore her like some have suggested, but, like many here, I really like the idea of killing her with kindness and sending the response that FELINE suggested.

    Good luck at your next meeting.
    1589 days ago
  • DIANE7786
    It sounds like the woman is hoping for help because she didn't follow your lead and say, "No!" Your e-mailed your explanation so there's no reason to respond to her last e-mail. Too much conflict with the woman and the group will start choosing sides. It's probably best if you are pleasant but try to avoid her as much as possible.
    1589 days ago
    I think that FELINEBETTER hit the nail on the head.

    I've found that sitting down and writing a letter or e-mail with all the nasty cracks you can muster will help,

    but DO NOT SEND IT!!!! Repeat --- DO NOT SEND IT!!!

    I have done this on many occasions. It lets me vent and yet doesn't leave me open for retaliation. It's kind of like blogging...

    The more I think about it, the better I like FELINEBETTER's solution. It is really pretty snarky, but does pass the smell test with flying colors...

    1589 days ago
  • FIT4MEIN2013
    I was just going to say the same thing that Felinebetter suggested; a reply saying, "Thank you so much for understanding".
    1589 days ago
    I just love FELINEBETTER's solution!
    1589 days ago
    I'd just let a smelly rat smell and ignore her rudeness. Just my 2 cents worth.
    1589 days ago
    I vote for ignoring her.
    1589 days ago
    Hi Cat! Your instincts were alert for sure. I have to agree with PawsUp on this one. I think I would kill her with kindness & class by responding, "Thank you. I knew I could count on you to understand." (And say nothing more !)

    That's my 2 cents! emoticon

    1589 days ago
    Personally, I'd ignore her ~ it took me many years to realize that "two wrongs don't make a right".

    I agree, don't stoop to her level. You may piss her off more by not responding. Sorry for the language, couldn't think of a better word.
    1589 days ago
    I've had to put up with a great deal of this kind of garbage in the last year. One thing I have found is that stooping to their level just makes me feel crappy. If you want to call her out for being rude, you can. Or you can say "frack her" and go on living a glorious life.

    No matter what, you leave her wallow in her own crap.
    1589 days ago
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