Thursday, October 17, 2013
In the last couple weeks I have finally realized two very non-scale-related dreams. I finally took my shiny new health insurance card and went to a doctor. I'm pretty healthy, by the way, which it's nice to have confirmation of backed by an actual medical professional. And she and I talked for a long time about anxiety and depression, and in addition to advising me to visit with a therapist she recommends, she prescribed anti-anxiety meds for me. I thought this was a big deal- I have been struggling with this my whole life; I have felt despair and isolation, and fear, and (obviously) obssessive anxiety about this decision. I know I've spoken to my family about it many times, and gotten words of caution for the most part, about embarking on anything.
Then I found out, over the course of the last week, that my sister was taking something for a while, my dad knew the name of the medication I was prescribed (and told me, "Oh yeah, that's a good one."), and I already knew that my mom has tried this route along the way as well. So I'm just wondering, was I interpreting them wrong when we talked in the past? Was I overthinking the whole thing? Am I the nuttiest one in the bunch because I worried myself into a frenzy over something that should have been easy?
Either way, I'm trying it now, and whatever anyone else's experience may have been, I have my chance here to improve a piece of my life that has always been in the "to-do" column.
The other part is much nicer. It took three years of wheedling, but I actually got Robert into an eye doctor's office. Yesterday we picked up his new glasses, the first new glasses the man has gotten since high school. And God- what a difference! They're sparkling new and clean, he can see colors brighter (!), and they look grown-up and professional, and really nice.
I'm very proud of him, and of both of us, for continuing to have these little victories. They're such simple things, all of them, but they've been such a struggle until now that each one I get to check off means that much more. It finally feels like we aren't in some dead-broke holding pattern of waiting for "real life" to start. I like it.