Thursday, October 17, 2013
I have a little time this morning, and many productive things I COULD be doing, but I feel like giving myself a break. So here I am, with my second cup of tea, looking out at a world completely shrunken by thick fog. I can barely see two cows by the barn. Can't see the fence, or the hill behind the fence. Fog is kind of mysterious, and I don't mind it for a little while. I hope it burns off in an hour or two, though.
So, I'm sitting here thinking a bit of this and a bit of that, and wondering which is better: To have a husband who likes you just fine no matter what size you are, or one who likes you better small? I happen to have one who LOVES me no matter what, but who definitely LIKES me better small. We've been married 33 years, and I've gained and lost MANY times over that span, and it's really obvious that he prefers the way I look when I'm under 150 lbs. This has frequently been hard on my self-confidence, and has made me feel resentful at times. However, in some ways I'm grateful. If he just didn't care, I might have let things get completely out of control, and ballooned up to a weight where I would've felt powerless to ever lose the excess. I think, overall, that I am thankful for his aversion to fat, which motivates me to do my best. Not because I think it is cool for him to think that way, but because I, myself, feel SO much better when I am fit and healthy.