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My meeting with "The Money Coach"


Thursday, October 17, 2013

I had my meeting and I learned tons. Mostly it made me realize how paranoid I am about dealing with this budgeting and organization of money things. Good thing I am not a spendthrift or I'd be in big trouble. I had tears in my eyes through most of the meeting. If he was a woman, I would have cried outright. But I held it in.

The guy was so, so patient with me. I think of myself as fairly intelligent, but meeting with him made me realize how my emotions get in the way of me handling this money organization thing. He went back to the very basics--and I needed it. I have been preparing our taxes and handling all the money now for 7 years. (since DH's stroke) We use dto rotate who did the books, but since I got pregnant in 1982, I gave it totally to him. I knew I'd be doing most of the work with the 'baby'/child/etc. so I "gave him" the responsibility of the bills. He got them all paid on time but , oh dear, the envelopes and the mail in general just piled higher and higher. He'd pick out the bills and all the other mail made a huge , growing pile on a table . When I took over after his stroke, I never did learn to manage all that mail. It is a huge source of my disorganization. I admitted this to "the money coach." They guy was so lean, professionally dressed, and in general professional that it was hard admitting that to him.

I walked in with a black bag filled with financial papers. I had this ready for the elder lawyer when I saw her last spring. It had way too much in it. But that is the best I could do.

He started asking me questions about my finances. I did not know the answers. He asked , Do you have an IRA?" I did not know. I cannot keep those kinds of information in my head. He asked me a couple of more questions and said, "Yes, you have an IRA." Then I handed him my last year's tax info given to me by the guy who does my taxes. I said, " Will this help you know the proper information? Because honestly I don't know offhand the answers to your questions." And--he went on to explain the basics to me, without making me feel inferior! Yeah! I suppose I have a mental block about this stuff. It feels like a foreign language to me. I can say the words like IRA, W2, deductions, investments, ....but mostly the words just confuse me. This is very hard to admit. Even if I got the book, "Money for Dummies" I'd read it without fully grasping the meaning. emoticon


You people who do your books efficiently must be rolling on the floor laughing! emoticon


But all this is making me understand myself. I know I was never very interested in money..... I never worried about it. I figured if both of us were working what was there to worry about? If we did not overspend, we'd be fine. Now, hubby, worried himself into a stroke (about money). That isn't too smart either. Right? So I don't think he had a great handle on this money matter either!

My parents had a Mom and Pop grocery store. My Mom 'did the books' daily for the store. An accountant showed her a simple way to do it and she just did it daily for as long as I can remember. Money in, money out, and get a bottom total. Dad went 'to market' Daily and bought things to sell in our store. The bills from that were totaled. And she would count the money in the cash register daily. So she did the math and had a daily figure. After that I don't know what happened. I mean around tax time.

Now here might be a reason I am not so great at organization of paperwork. My mom had a filing cabinet, but she used it like drawers! emoticon There were NO file folders in it!
I know the top drawer had her scarf, gloves, prayer books--everything she needed to go to church --daily--for the rosary in the evenings, first Friday services, and Holy Saturday services, and of course Sunday Mass. you can see her priorities. emoticon

I am very glad I found "the Money Coach." My town hall suggested him to me. He volunteers (!) a day a week at the Jewish Family Services office. I give him lots of credit for that! And he specifically does not take on these clients as his clients or even send them to his friends for paid help. Wow! He said he had absolutely no stake in what advice he gave me! I have never met with a business person like that before. Even the guy who is my financial adviser I wonder sometimes if he does thing best for me --or for him....even though I trust him.

chris
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Member Comments About This Blog Post:
1STATEOFDENIAL 10/18/2013 4:24AM

    How wonderful you were sent his way, and that he's able to help. Sounds like a good guy trying to be helpful; we could use more people like him in the world. Not everyone has the "mind" for money. Even if we do, it doesn't mean we always will. I'm 9 classes away from a bachelor's degree in accouting, and I was doing well. Now with my conditions my mind is no longer able to deal with that stuff, so I have a hard time even paying my bills. You don't have a mind for finances - that's okay. Reaching out to get help from others is a good idea. Do you think that this guy would be able to easily do all the caregiving you do for your husband? You have plenty of skills that others don't possess.

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ARTJAC 10/17/2013 9:50PM

    emoticon

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FROSTY99 10/17/2013 8:13PM

    How emoticon a service, I truly hope this helps you get a handle on things. I guess because I am a number kind of person that I have always wanted to be in control and have always paid our bills. I never wanted to relinquish the knowledge to another person and I feel sorry for women who have no idea of their financial status. I watched my aunt struggle after my uncle passed away and guess that really inspired me.
Kudos to you for doing this.


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SUSIEPH1 10/17/2013 4:14PM

    What a great service this obviously professional man does .. Great that he was so patient and so helpful ..
I do our books ..always have, even when we were in business ..
emoticon emoticon emoticon I have to know where our money is going, and I enjoy seeing everything up to date ..
Hugs Susie xx

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TIGER_LILY_613 10/17/2013 12:18PM

    I sometimes find it hard to deal with money matters too. Like you, I'm not a spendthrift, and I save a lot, but the idea of doing more complex tasks kinda freaks me out.

I'm glad you found a Money Coach. Maybe you could send him my way sometime ? :)

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TINY67 10/17/2013 12:01PM

    emoticon emoticon

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WHYNOTJ1 10/17/2013 9:44AM

    You are not alone. Many people find it hard to deal with this stuff. I'm sort of in the middle. I'm good about keeping the paperwork organized, not so great about dealing with investments and planning. Congratulations on taking a big first step in getting a handle on all of this! Go you!

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COCK-ROBIN 10/17/2013 9:42AM

    Keep up the good work with the money coach! He sounds like a good one.

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GOOSIEMOON 10/17/2013 8:51AM

    emoticon

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SANDRALEET 10/17/2013 8:10AM

    Yes we need to learn how much we can spend a year so we do not go under

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DRAGON-CHICK 10/17/2013 7:51AM

    Wow! I need one of those.
I'm like you, I think.
It's the last thing I want to worry about.

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GARDENCHRIS 10/17/2013 7:44AM

    glad you have some help

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2HAMSDIET 10/17/2013 7:40AM

    My grandfather always paid the bills until he got sick and then he tried to teach my grandmother. She never did seem to understand and the surprising part is she was very organize. Lucky my grandfather told her to ask my mother to help her so she did it for her but as she was just an in-law it made my one Aunt mad. So don't be afraid to find someone you trust to help you. emoticon

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FERRETLOVER1 10/17/2013 7:17AM

    Your "Money Guy" sounds absolutely wonderful! So glad you met with him - things will be better for you - it took guts to admit you knew little or nothing about money management - being willing to learn is more than half the battle!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITMARY 10/17/2013 7:05AM

    So many of us have that mental block when it comes to money and the learned helplessness too. Well, it's time we got over it! I just took some steps in the same direction so
emoticon
Getting things under control!
emoticon

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