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Off day .... (51 days in the 5% challenge)

Thursday, October 17, 2013

I do good for several days in a row, I keep myself psyched up, I eat well, and I am up and moving around and/or out exercising. I have also been working on eating cleaner and enjoying my little victory in each 'clean' meal that I manage. And then comes a day like today.

Nothing really bad happened, I sat and filled out job applications, and then the anxiety hit. All I could think was 'What am I gonna do?'
This isn't really about my lack of a job though. I was being my usual worry-wart self, thinking about eating and exercising all day and what did I do? I had an ok day with eating...up to dinner.

We had a carb heavy dinner, pulled pork sandwich, potato salad (home made by me), and pasta salad which was also home made, but not by me so I really don't know how much mayo and salt was in it. I ate slow and had water with dinner.
When I was done eating, I wanted a second sandwich...my sister made the pork with a recipe that I had not had before and it was yummy, so I thought that maybe I was just wanting more because it tasted good.
I even went so far as the kitchen and then I checked out the calories on the bun (I knew it would put me off of wanting seconds) 210 calories just for the bun. I decided against it. I ate a couple of green olives, hoping that the change in flavor would satisfy me. They were a new brand that I don't care for, unfortunately.

I went down to my room and thought about blogging, worked on my crocheting, and kept trying to tell myself that I was NOT hungry!
After almost two hours, I gave in and went up and ate another sandwich.

OF COURSE I didn't NEED another couple hundred calories and my stomach let me know it! I was suddenly overfull and here it is 3 hours after that and I am STILL miserable.

Although I have been having some major ups and downs lately, I haven't eaten to the point of being physically uncomfortable in several weeks.

In trying to figure out just what was going through my head while I was giving in...I was stressing, I was google-ing how to make money without a job, I was thinking about not having people here to hang out with, feeling lonely, and just feeling down on myself in general.
Don't get me wrong, I love my sister and family, but she doesn't want to go walking or biking with me, and my beau is bad enough now that he can't.

Judging by my past experiences, I know that I have a rough patch coming up but I will continuing to fight for me.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Sounds like a great learning experience actually. You did wonderful to stop and think about what's bothering you. Give yourself well-deserved kudos for putting off the eating while you thought it out. Keep that up and your habits will absolutely change. Keep moving forward!
    1496 days ago
    As usual, and I can't really over stress this point, you need to LEARN from your experience. Find things that you could have done wrong.
    Inspect your day maybe, you'll find your answer and solution not to just avoid it in future, but to eliminate the whole issue.
    On the surface I can see only one thing, the sandwiches.
    I understand that it's US cuisine, but sandwich is horrible food that makes no sense.
    Potato salad is not a salad. And what's with the pasta salad, how did it got into the salad:)
    Based on how I understood your dinner, there would be no food for me at the table.
    I've got an idea:)
    For every meal, everybody should ask themselves, looking at there table..
    What would Andrey eat? ------------- That would make me happy;)
    1497 days ago
    I have had THAT EXACT DAY. We all have. It's okay. You're in the right place - analyzing why it happened and what you will do next time.

    Not sure EXACTLY what it is for you, but if you can figure it out it can help you create strategies for those moments. I know you will! For me, it is usually something like... I just hate feeling penned in. You know, like I can NEVER have seconds because Calories! and Eating Habits! and it's Bad! I have to get away from that because sometimes I will eat more just out of rebellion. (Unless it's comfort eating which is another different, or sometimes combination, thing...)

    But if I feel like "I want more just because it was tasty," (and because I JUST WANNA) sometimes I have more, just only a TINY bit more - and track it. I personally would eat another small forkful, like 1-2 bites, of the pork and no bun. I get another taste, but less calories & not a whole sandwich. Or I'll cut a bun into 1/4ths and have 1/4 of a sandwich! One time I made a half a grilled cheese, because I wanted grilled cheese and couldn't fit a full one into my day. I will get fries, eat five or ten (I decide before I order them how many I am eating). I eat my number of fries, then I dump the rest if it's fast/walking around food or pour pepper on them if at a restaurant. I am not a person who can say to myself "I will never eat fries again because they are fried and unhealthy and I am a healthy eater now" because one day I will go insane and eat 4 large fry order from fast food or something crazy like that. I cannot do ultimatums with myself.

    When you allow yourself to enjoy food in this way as well as controlling your portions/calories you take away the power it has over you, and the next time you "want some just because" it feels like less of a crisis. And makes it easier to say "just a bite" or even "nah, I'm good" without feeling emotional about it.

    OH and the olives thing! I've done that too, and found over the years that eating something ELSE to tame the craving almost NEVERRRR works for me. Not sure if that's true for everyone, but if I want, say, an Oreo, having a tsp of chocolate chips is not going to cut it. It's not just the chocolate, it's the crunch of the cookie & the smooth filling. Easier to go buy one of those little 3 packs of Oreos, eat one, and throw the other 2 away than to eat 7 other different chocolate or kind of chocolatey things and still be grumpy and wishing I had an Oreo!! Fewer calories in the end, too. Hahaha.

    Anyway. just saying I feel you. Think of it as a learning experience to help you prepare for next time, if nothing else.
    1499 days ago
  • KAREN608
    Considering the stress you live under, wanting a job, and waiting, you are doing very well. We all get tempted by something, and it was just one meal... you can just continue on the way you were, and walk some more or bike. I agree that eating until tummy is too full is not a pleasant feeling. But it does mean 99 percent of the time you have been doing well.
    1499 days ago
    Doesn't hurt to splurge every once in awhile. This last Sunday I had 2 Johnsonville Brats and some Lasagne...just made sure I stopped on Sunday and restarted Monday. I just have a "wait til Sunday" list and pick one or 2 of them each week. Having that "Free Day" (within reason) each week makes it much easier for me. Best of luck in the job hunting. All the best to ya emoticon
    1499 days ago
  • BILL60
    Hang in there cause it's well worth it, in the end.
    1499 days ago
    It's one day, you know that - put it behind you and remember the mantra one day at a time. You sound really down and I ve been there so many times, so I know there's no easy way. You will get a job, you're too good not to, I guess that adds to your frustration. emoticon
    1499 days ago
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