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I don't know how to feel

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I finally reached ex this morning. It turns out he was in the hospital the entire time (complications from diabetes). He said he couldn't call because his cell phone ran out of charge and he couldn't recharge it. I asked about the telephone by the bedside in just about every hospital. He said, "Well, I meant to, but..." He told me he'd arranged for a company to take 24/7 care of Frank, but the people coordinating his care moved him to a care home because they're not convinced ex is strong enough to care for him. And to be honest, I think they probably looked at the condition of the house and it helped with the decision (ex is a hoarder). Ex is going to a meeting next week about all of this. He doesn't yet know the name of the facility, but it's about ten miles south of ex and about sixty miles south of me.

My heart is in a whirlpool right now. Part of me thinks this may be the best for both of them. Part of me feels like crying and screaming. I just don't know how I should feel.
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