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ON2VICTORY
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I don't have the right...

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Wednesday, October 16, 2013

I was cleaning out a bunch of old papers and ran across a picture from a 2007 church directory of my family and I. It was printed on an inkjet printer, hence the big water stain on my face (of all places) but I had forgotten that this picture even existed. There weren't too many of them around since they had been mostly purged because they never showed me in a good light, or angle, or anything else for that matter. Thankfully a few survived.

I sat and stared at it for a LONG time. I looked at my non-existent neck, face, arms, even the fact that I was hiding behind my youngest daughter Emily. That WAS ME, the old me.

I then looked at me from a few days ago, the picture of me in the finishers shirt.

Then:


Now:




I just realized something.

I don't have the RIGHT to stay down in the dumps for any reason.

There are so many who are striving every day to try to get to a place where they can have such a picture and here I am whining about a few things and allowing that to spoil my personal victory.

I remember a long time ago I told someone who was struggling and was discouraged about not being what they thought they should be a few things that came to back to me at that moment...

Let me share:

So what if you didn't run the perfect race, or even come close to doing as well as you thought you should. So what if you jiggled and didn't look suave and cool for the cameras. So what if you had to "lower yourself" and walk because you needed to.

So WHAT?

If the race course ran by a hospital, there were patients that watched you run by and longed to be able to breathe like you, to have use of their legs, to have the sun on their face, or to simply breathe fresh air and not have to listen to the moans of the suffering.

If the course ran by a residential area, there were those that sat in their chairs wishing they had your courage, wishing they could be active like you. To know what it is to do what you are doing and not feel like they are going to die.

If the course ran by a prison, there were inmates that felt a stab of regret about what landed them there, and felt some sort of longing to just be able to have a choice in their lives and do something without being watched, locked down, or herded from one area to another.

Then there are those at the finish line, the waiting families and friends that wonder what it has to feel like to do something like that and wear a medal, to finish something they started, to endure and see it through.

It all came back to me and I realized that with so many people who would give anything to have what I have, I am a debtor to them. To make sure that if they cannot experience it themselves, to not make it worse by making them watch as I act foolishly and squander away what they have dreamed about.

So what if I am a little off track, I'm still charting a course to ultimate victory because I have learned that in the long run, I will accept nothing less.

Happiness is a choice and ultimate success is also a choice because each decision lays the ground work for the next like one foot in front of the other. I know from experience that no matter how fast or how slow, one foot in front of the other will get you to the finish line be it a 5k or a 70.3

I don't have the right to be crabby.

It's time to smile.


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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v NASFKAB
    emoticon
    981 days ago
  • v OLIVINE
    Well done looking forward to hearing more.
    981 days ago
  • v BUTTERFLYGRACE
    emoticon message!!! Thanks so much for sharing it!

    There are times that I look at my 300 pound me pictures, even share them with others and can barely fathom those days now. I've been 1/2 my former self for 12 years now with a few struggles off course, but, each time, I get myself back down the extra pounds I regain. And I never go back to that 300 pound me. The pictures are enough. The memories of how I felt are enough.

    Anyway, thanks for the beautiful reminder. The way you encouraged folks who are walking the walk is perfect!

    emoticon
    981 days ago
  • v JACKIE15108
    Thank you for this beautiful thought provoking blog. emoticon
    981 days ago
  • v ANGELCITYGAL
    Yes! Thank you for this positive message! emoticon
    981 days ago
  • v CHANGINGEMMY
    There's Robert!! emoticon We all have those moments of being down on ourselves. It's natural but you're standing back up and moving forward. Woohoo! Kudos to you!!

    I loved the part where you went through who was watching you and I never really thought about it that way. You're so right!!

    Keep up the hard work! Keep your chin up!
    982 days ago
  • v TIGER_LILY_613
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v MOBYCARP
    Well said.

    A few weeks ago, I sat in a church service. During joys and concerns, we heard from a woman in a powered wheelchair. She has several medical issues, but she had a joy. "I used to only be able to raise my hand like this," and she raised her hand to about shoulder level. "Now I can raise it like this," and she raised her hand to slightly above the top of her head.

    I knew right then that I was not going to whine about being in physical therapy and not being able to run. PT didn't last forever, and I can run again. That woman is still in her wheelchair. And she still has a marvelous, inspiring positive attitude.
    982 days ago
  • v ROXYZMOM
    Exactlyl!!
    By George, I think you got it!
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    982 days ago
  • v SPARKLISE
    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v SIERRAGOLD
    Hi Robert,

    emoticon

    I totally get where you are coming from. I feel like that about SO many different areas of my life... not just my physical abilities, but all the gifts and talents I've been blessed with. Lately I've been feeling like I'm wasting them. So that is a big deal to me and your blog relates to all areas of life.

    I just want to say to not be too hard or down on yourself though. If you happen to feel particularly sad, hurt, frustrated, or any other emotion that seems negative, don't just try to push it aside. That's something that I've always tended to do in the past, and it doesn't serve me well. It's better to just acknowledge it, and embrace what the feeling is telling you... whatever that may be. It could be something useful and you don't want to ignore it. The universe (which shows itself as people, situations, circumstances, etc.) is always showing you something. It may not seem useful at all. Just problems and garbage that is just a huge pain, for no good reason. We don't always like it, for sure, but sometimes what seems terrible or a struggle turns out to be really beautiful and poignant in the end.

    I really don't know why I'm saying all this. Maybe it's not really for you, but for me. emoticon

    In any case, keep up the great work and the awesome attitude!
    emoticon

    Barbara
    982 days ago
  • v NILLAPEPSI
    Great way to look at it. You've come so very, very far!! Keep smiling!! emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v WILDKAT781
    emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v LISALGB
    Awesome post!! Thanks so much for sharing and inspiring!!
    982 days ago
  • v LIVEDAILY
    You have every right to be happy - for all that you have accomplished and all that you hope to do. Life is too short to be "crabby" for very long!
    emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v MWWENSIN
    Our lives aren't completely written yet. There is no instruction manual. But that's ok. Life is about not knowing always what you'll do and where you'll go. Each day, hour, minute, second is a chance to start fresh.

    It's ok to spin your wheels sometime. It's ok to be fallible. That's all part of life and being human.

    We get up each day, make our choices.

    I don't when the merry-go-round of life will end for me. I know there will be new highs and lows in my life. I don't know when this life will stop. I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about what I want to do wirh my life a day at a time. Life isn't wrapped up in a neat little bow. I just want to go through life as happy and healthy as I can. Love my wife, my kids as best as I know how. Keep the weight off and exercise while I have a breathe in my body to do so.

    I'm not worried about the noise in my life, i will do the best job in ny life I can. I WILL NOT be perfect. I will be the best I can be.
    982 days ago
  • v BEATLETOT
    I appreciate the perspective, but I think you DO have a right. I used to think this way a lot, but if you don't have a right to be bummed because others have it worse than you, then by the same logic, you don't have a right to be happy, because others have it better than you, you know?

    I'm not saying, Don't pull yourself up by your bootstraps and don't JUST DO IT (or JUST STOP IT or whatever pertains to a particular decision one has made!), but don't downplay your feelings, either. It's okay to be down, and of course you have a right to feel whatever you feel! You just gotta get back up, too. emoticon

    Oh, I edited to say that I thought you were going to say you didn't have the right...to get so hot! =)
    982 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/16/2013 4:18:23 PM
  • v COOP9002
    Excellent post. Thanks for sharing.
    982 days ago
  • v OBIESMOM2
    emoticon
    when I'm struggling to keep running in a race, or during an endurance training day, I think about all the people I know who would love to be able to walk without pain, or be able to stand on their own power. That keeps me going, because some day **I** might be the one who can't run. Wouldn't want to squander my chance!
    982 days ago
  • v IMSMILEY88
    What a wonderful post! I sometimes feel "guilty" here on SP because I am listed as a "motivator" but I have fallen and am no longer one to be inspiring others. In fact, they could look at my story and see themselves succeeding only to fall back down like I did. But, my story isn't finished yet! And, I can get back to where I was! I can continue to dream... and push... and accomplish the goals I set before myself. So, I will smile alongside you.

    The path isn't always straight & we don't always keep climbing that hill. But, the hill is still there. And, we can get back on it and start climbing again.

    Here's to putting the past days or weeks or months or even years behind. And to pushing forward!
    982 days ago
  • v BASEBALLMOM410
    Love this! We all have our times of doubt and being down, but it's so awesome that you came to the thoughts that you did. And I love how you explained it! Smile on Friend!! emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v OSUBUCKI101
    You definitely have the right to be proud of yourself! You are an inspiration to many regardless of race times. You finish what you start and that is all that matters. :) Well done my friend!
    982 days ago
  • v ALWYS-LKN-UP
    Yes, yes you ABSOLUTELY have the right to smile!! :)
    982 days ago
  • v LEWILL1982
    That's what I tell myself in runs, or rides when I get tired. Think of all the people who didnt get up today, couldnt get up today, or if they could get up, weren't physically able to do anything of that nature that you do or any of us does. We are blessed and lucky to have the ability to bike, run, swim, walk, rollerblade, crossfit or whatever; we need to embrace our abilities and every effort we make (but not hurt ourselves). Cheer up, buddy!

    PS -I just read through your other blogs, sounds like you need to decompress and get back to babysteps, which, it sounds like you're doing, so good job and just keep pushing!
    982 days ago
  • v TAMMYINPA
    emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v MARUKI52
    Cheering you on!
    982 days ago
  • v MIMOTOGO
    Robert you always inspire me. Yesterday I did my catch up reading of your posts and you know what I started doing afterwards? I started cleaning my closets out! Yeah, my closets. I have had my own set backs and was pretty depressed when I got on the scales Tuesday morning. That's when I decided to hop on SP to see if I could get myself back (mojo) on track. And guess what? You were there with all your achievements and your own set back, but you were still HERE! Doing what you know to work. So thank you for sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly, because after all, life is full of these things. One thing I know about myself is that I don't do well in "chaos" and with the set backs I have had, all I had to do was look around my house and see where I was emotionally. Yes, I feel amazing today! One closet is mostly done, but the thing that I have TODAY that I didn't have yesterday morning, is a PLAN! People who fail to plan, plan to fail. That is where I was. I have gained back 30 lbs and that has thrown me into an awful tailspin. All this rambling is a way for me to tell you that YOU ARE AMAZING! YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND TO! Do you know how I know that? All you have to do is go back to your Blogs. It's all there! Your successes, your "Aha" moments, your emotions, your set backs, and your determination. It's okay to be where you are at right now, it's just a staging place for your next LAUNCH! Can't wait to see it. You will be there again. The last year has been filled with focus and adrenalin rushes. Now your body needs some normalcy to regroup so that it will be ready, willing, and able to go for it again. Please keep bloging, posting, and being here, because even where you are at right now: YOU ARE STILL INSPIRING! Thank you for your continued process.
    emoticon emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v KLMEIRING
    emoticon emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v GARDENQE2
    Of course, we knew you would figure it out...and say it so vividly!!!
    emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v RUSSELL1960
    Fussing over the daily details of being and staying consistent need to be kept in perspective. Thanks and congratulations!
    982 days ago
  • v RUNNERRACHEL
    Great blog. Truly inspiring.

    Thank you for sharing.
    982 days ago
  • v IFDEEVARUNS2
    emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v FITFOODIE806
    yes! So glad you came to this.
    982 days ago
  • v MALICORNE1
    WOW! Your blog put things in perspective !
    I must be under the right star for the time being, as my recent reading":Far from the tree " Andrew Solomon and Movie watching: "Cowjews and Indians...." Halberstadt , and then your very inspiring blog have all contributed to yank me from my state of semi-perpetual emoticon dissatisfaction.
    Allow me to join the rank , and to not have the right to complain. Thanks1
    982 days ago
  • v AGGIEKBEAR03
    What a wonderful way to put it. I too often think about those who are not as "fortunate" as me to be able to do the things that I do. It really puts a great perspective on things. emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v JILLRY03
    WOW!! What a great blog!! You are definitely an inspiration! This blog could not have come at a better time in my life! Thank you Thank you! emoticon
    982 days ago
  • v CAROL494
    Wow! What progress you have made! Thanks for the comments!
    982 days ago
  • v MPLSKEN
    emoticon
    982 days ago
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