Wednesday, October 16, 2013
Yesterday was the 3 year anniversary of losing our home to the economy/foreclosure, not the best day to remember.
I found myself in the emergency room with my now 15 year old daughter, she had a bad reaction to a new medication. She is ok, weak and still nauseous this morning, but better. She had me scared there for a minute (4 hours). I was freaking out (only on the inside).
As soon as we got out of the hospital I started eating anything and everything ... I hadn't binged in a very long time. I was a shark ... an eating machine ... blindly and uncontrollably. It lasted about an hour ... I am grateful only because I have been in the grip of binge-eating for months at a time before. I am hoping this means I have a handle on this behavior or maybe it is no longer my go to solution for emotional crisis'.
Today is a new day ... a day to do things right. I am in control. My new short term/small goal is to lose 14 pounds by New Years Eve. I know I can do it.
Over the last 3 years I have been extremely depressed, hopeless and unable to function. There had been so much tragedy and loss. I was unable to find work until this year (July 1st). For the last year and a half Riley and I have been staying at my Mother's house. Not a good situation. Jerry (mother's husband) hates us, is jealous of us and doesn't want us here. He is small minded, selfish, mean and nasty. He has made our lives miserable. At this point both Riley and I ignore him and a lot of the time Mother does too. He has no power over us ... he is merely tolerated.
If I can survive all of the nastiness the last 3 years have brought my way I can survive ANYTHING. I am in control and I will not give up on having a better life ... A fit healthy life filled with love and adventure.
Anyone who is struggling ... remember - you are worth it... worth every goodie you want but don't eat, worth every criticism you let roll off your back, worth every moment you spend choosing to be healthy and do what is right for your body and spirit. Don't let anything or anyone (including yourself) get in your way. You can do it!