Tuesday, October 15, 2013
About every few months or so I go into a health kick. Usually something motivates me. Whether it's watching the shows, seeing a person at Walmart or just weighing myself for the first time in a while. During these bouts; I tend to buy healthy food and I end up buying gym equipment. Which I probably end up using for about a week before it's starts collecting dust.
So far I own a bike, weights, a jump rope, a treadmill, pedometer(s), elliptical and other assorted gym equipment.
Another one of my issues is my most likely anxiety/depression that I should probably be seeing a doctor for. I did over the summer and that didn't go over well. Whether it's that I become lazy or my mood takes a dive that leave me at state of misery for about 3 weeks at a time. During this time I barely sleep or eat and usually I eat really healthy during this time because anything else unsettles my stomach. Yet, when I feel better I eat everything in sight. I
do not realize how hungry I was.
This is a problem. Since this whole problem started in March 2012 I've gained about 30lb. Besides the other 20lb pounds I gained my last two years of high school before graduating in 2011. Which brings me to an unhealthy 185lb at 20 years old. Both my mother and my sister are over 200 lb I will not intend to get any closer.
Last week I weighed myself and was a bit disappointed. My mother and I were talking; does the anxiety have to do with the weigh gain or is it the other way around. I do tend to feel better when I do exercise. Another thing that started happening was that my hair started falling out even more. Anxiety wise I've been feeling better since my mood crashed and I ended up feeling depressed for the entire month of July. So where could the hair loss come from. Either way I plan to make an appointment in November with the support of my mother. She's really been there for me in the past year and half. My sister just doesn't know how to talk about it but she tries and well I still love her for trying and just being there for me.
Hopefully, I will lose weight and some (prefer all) my anxiety will go away. I dreams that I would love to accomplish in life and I feel hindered by the anxiety. I mean I don't have a job and I'm not going to school at the moment because of my fear, to scared to drive, don't want to do anything in fear that I will have a panic attack. But I'm still optimistic that all this stuff will go away and I can be the career woman that I want to be.
I hope to lose some weight by Thanksgiving day and hopefully be a lot healthier by my birthday on February 19.
Wish me luck, pray for me or whatever. I'm going to need it.