Okay, I admit it. I love sugar. I live for Friday night date night, because my treats are all sugary goodness-chocolate bars, jube jubes, the occasional pop (usually Fresca, which is actually sugar free, but still a sweet treat).
I love sugar so much, I signed up for the Tame Your Sweet Tooth Challenge with the knowledge that it was going to be a really tough trek for me. Turns out I was so worried about the time in the challenge when I'm asked to give up sugar (or reduce it), I actually avoided SP for a week!
Yes, I purposely didn't even come in and track my food AT ALL, or check in with my support thread friends for a week, because I feared giving up my candy.
Okay. So, I know addictions come in all forms. My dad is an overeater from way, way back. My mum is a recovering alcoholic. My sister is a currently dry/straight alcoholic/addict. I grew up surrounded by people who were addicted. Is it any surprise then, that I've found my own crutch? Just the fact that I've chosen chocolate and soft jelly candies does not absolve me of my addictive behaviors- eating these treats secretly, trying to "get away with" having a serving or two (or 3, 5, ah, who's counting anyway) without anyone noticing. Feeling protective of my behaviour, not wanting others to know, or comment. Feeling that somehow eating a chocolate bar is going to make "everything better", and when it doesn't, occasionally turning to more sugar for solace. Yeah, "Huston, we have a problem!"
Today I'm feeling better. This is only the first week, so I only have to keep track of my sugar intake, when and how much. Be observant of when I want sugar. I'm not into the denial phase yet. I'm allowed to eat it, if I want. It's my choice.
Just knowing that I'm facing the truth of my behaviours makes me feel stronger and more able to work on being healthier in my choices.
Wish me luck!
Day 1: (Sunday, Oct 13)- I was making a HUGE Thanksgiving dinner, so I snacked on LOTS of jube jubes around the time I should have eaten lunch
Day 2: (Monday, Oct. 14)- I did better today, healthy breakfast, although I had LOTS of coffee, which I always add sugar to. Otherwise, I managed to eat well, until supper. Left overs from previous dinner included a slice of pumpkin pie. Sweet goodness!
Day 3: (Tuesday, Oct. 15)- Well, I'm only part way through the day. I did have a coffee again today, with sugar. Just one cup though, which is an improvement.
I'm already thinking about pumpkin pie for dessert. Maybe I should freeze a few single servings, to have on Friday for datenight treats.
I like this being aware thing, it's very helpful.
I know that part of my reliance on sugar comes from being an emotional eater. I think I'd rather be an emotional speaker, or exerciser, or tidy'er (I bet DH wouldn't complain about that either!). There are lots of other ways to deal with emotions. I need to get some healthier plans in place.