Tuesday, October 15, 2013
I know we all have those voices that weren't nice to us that occasionally show up in our heads at random times. They may have been people who knew us, they more likely were random people who saw us once and passed judgement for no good reason.
A few of mine still show up randomly when I'm in a frustrated already mood, so the stupid voices have been shouting again.
The guy who cut my hair and refused to touch it until he washed it because washing it the night before was not clean enough said my neck was ugly so he wouldn't cut it short, but I did not go to the other person to get my hair cut.
The first grader who told me that I'm bigger than his mom (I'm not sure if that's still true today).
The peer group during Jr. High calling me pizza face and four eyes. The girls told each other loudly how bad my makeup job was. The boyfriend who told one of my other friends that I looked like a slut in the outfit I had on one day.
The not so obvious shunning by people working in places I'm shopping not asking me if I needed help when I was over 200, but now I get asked if I need help all the time.
The confusion by my mother when I was losing weight "you can't eat that, you're on a diet" when she hasn't successfully gotten to her goal weight and figured out how her eating isn't helping her.
The ex (who I was dating at the time) who said he'd never stick around if I got fat and that my breasts were already too big. (That's part of the reason he's an EX!)
Those are just a taste of some that show up. Fortunately they're not always loud. Sometimes the fun good voices are there cheering me on. They just show up occasionally when I'm not feeling great about myself and the situation I'm in at the time. They really are dumb. They have no relation to where I am now and I know better, but they are still there and whisper at me just to remind me how far I've come. They are the perception of people who have their own issues and just take them out on me. It's sad that they held enough power over me to still come to the forefront of my mind.
I'm going to go prove that I am awesome and that those voices were wrong. I'm good enough, I'm strong enough and I'm beautiful just the way I am right now today.
Today's Holidays: National Grouch Day, International Day of Rural Women, White Cane Safety Day, National Mushroom Day, National Roast Pheasant Day and National Chicken Cacciatore Day.