Voices of the past
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
I know we all have those voices that weren't nice to us that occasionally show up in our heads at random times. They may have been people who knew us, they more likely were random people who saw us once and passed judgement for no good reason.
A few of mine still show up randomly when I'm in a frustrated already mood, so the stupid voices have been shouting again.
The guy who cut my hair and refused to touch it until he washed it because washing it the night before was not clean enough said my neck was ugly so he wouldn't cut it short, but I did not go to the other person to get my hair cut.
The first grader who told me that I'm bigger than his mom (I'm not sure if that's still true today).
The peer group during Jr. High calling me pizza face and four eyes. The girls told each other loudly how bad my makeup job was. The boyfriend who told one of my other friends that I looked like a slut in the outfit I had on one day.
The not so obvious shunning by people working in places I'm shopping not asking me if I needed help when I was over 200, but now I get asked if I need help all the time.
The confusion by my mother when I was losing weight "you can't eat that, you're on a diet" when she hasn't successfully gotten to her goal weight and figured out how her eating isn't helping her.
The ex (who I was dating at the time) who said he'd never stick around if I got fat and that my breasts were already too big. (That's part of the reason he's an EX!)
Those are just a taste of some that show up. Fortunately they're not always loud. Sometimes the fun good voices are there cheering me on. They just show up occasionally when I'm not feeling great about myself and the situation I'm in at the time. They really are dumb. They have no relation to where I am now and I know better, but they are still there and whisper at me just to remind me how far I've come. They are the perception of people who have their own issues and just take them out on me. It's sad that they held enough power over me to still come to the forefront of my mind.
I'm going to go prove that I am awesome and that those voices were wrong. I'm good enough, I'm strong enough and I'm beautiful just the way I am right now today.
Today's Holidays: National Grouch Day, International Day of Rural Women, White Cane Safety Day, National Mushroom Day, National Roast Pheasant Day and National Chicken Cacciatore Day.
Member Comments About This Blog Post
Ah yes, I remember those people. When I was growing up I use to be called names like string bean, skinny, Olive Oil, when you stick out your tounge and turn sideways you look like a walking zipper (my dad's remark), etc. Then when I gained weight (by eating anything and everything I could get my hands on), they resorted to making remarks about how fat I was.
After my 1st divorce, I lost a lot of weight and one of my friends (at least I thought she was at the time), asked me if I had AIDS. GEEZE, I couldn't win for losing!!! After I remarried, I quit a lot of the activities I was involved in and settled down to a "Normal" life of working and being a wife (whatever normal is).
TODAY, I feel like, until someone starts paying my bills, their opinion doesn't matter!!! It took a long time for me to accept who I am no matter what I weigh, as long as I try to always treat people like I want to be treated.
I still get the negative reaction to my weight from my mom, but that's okay, because she has Alzheimer's and is paranoid about her own weight since she gained 22 lbs since being in the nursing home.
Words hurt!!! I'm so glad that you are to the point that you can change those negative thoughts from your past to positive one because, YES you are good enough, strong enough and beautiful just the way you are right now today. Don't ever forget that!!!
1258 days ago
Some kids are so cruel to other kids growing up, and many don't care what the recievers of their comments go through. I had a few tormentors, actually my twin and I did all because we are identical twins, some were jelous of that. We had nothing to do with them, and of couse they were a grade ahead of us. My wish would be for everyone who has bullied or pick on someone else comes to the realization that they were unkind and hope they teach their children to be better children than they were.
1259 days ago
We all keep those negative voices. Time to keep the positive ones. Maybe write them down somewhere where you can get them out anytime those negative voices return.
I'm glad you're able to talk back to them, that's the first step. The second is to replace them with positive ones. I'm sure you get them on this site and hopefully in your life.
Keep them close! You deserve them!
1259 days ago
We all have heard those negative voices, from bullies of any age. It is great that we can learn to be positive and push those small petty mean comments AWAY from controlling us!
1259 days ago
I'm glad you are able to push those voices to the back of your head and realize that you are awesome, strong and beautiful just as you are. When you believe that, you have better self esteem and you radiate confidence. With that showing on the outside, nobody would dare think differently. Just by being strong and confident will be enough to "put people in their place'' without uttering a word and they will have to maybe, hopefully look within themselves to see their own shortcomings rather than belittle other people because they do not have confidence in themselves.
1259 days ago
Who hasn't had these kinds of experiences? Even when I was in my forties, in small town USA a car full of teen boys yelled insults at me on the street on the town square. I leaned down, looked them in the eyes as they were stopped at the corner, and said "Don't I know your mother?". Their faces fell and eyes got big.
I didn't know their Moms but it was a good thing to say. Insulting them back would have done no good.
I remember being 160 lbs at age 17 and the dress clerk acting like it was terrible I didn't know how to eat right or diet. Of course they lost my business. I was working after school at a cafe, earned $170 a week, which you could live on then.
We remember the painful words and yet I am sure the ones that said them have long moved on and don't have a clue of the pain they inflicted or even care.
1259 days ago
You are doing an Absolutely Phenomenal Job of putting Those Voices 'in their place' and showing the World how Fabulous you have ALWAYS Been!6
1259 days ago
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