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I Just Don't Know...

Monday, October 14, 2013

i just don't know what is wrong with me. i'm having a really hard time with it all and trying to figure it out makes me feel even worse. i didn't even have this much problem with my eating and working out when i moved and went through my divorce. ?? i can't see any reason why i'd be doing this.. it's annoying! i get back on track for a couple days but then i can't seem to keep myself there...somethings gotta give or else i'm in trouble.

after doing this vlog i decided to go watch some other vlogs. i'm brought to tears by the determination and strength so many have. i miss that drive in myself. i can feel her in there screaming to let her back out and feeling her fight with all her might. i don't know why i keep pushing her away with food. i don't know why i'm so down and why i keep thinking food is ganna make me feel better...i feel worse!

fighting ourselves is the worst feeling!! it's soooo easy to just give up but i also know that nothing good ever comes from just giving up. tonight might have been a bad eating night but i can make the next couple hours count for something...right?! so i've decided...tears and go put my workout clothes on and get it done!
ever heard that quote..."your one workout away from a good mood"? sure it's 7:30 at night but it sure beats raiding the kitchen. good mood? here i come!!
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    Ok lady, I've been MIA for a few, so I missed this, I WISH I would have seen it sooner. I wanna just drive to you and hug you.

    I COMPLETELY understand where you're coming from right now. I've been the same way, except mine is with my exercise. I'm going back to OLD Sam who would always have an excuse to NOT workout. Ugh. I don't like that Sam. I don't want to give her power again. And I enjoy the feeling I have after I work out. I may not always enjoy the workout, but I like the "exercise high" I get from completing a work out.

    I was doing my Ease into 5K, I haven't done it in like 2 weeks. I have to go back to starting all over again. But trying to balance life is hard. Especially when the seasons change and I have to start moving EVERYTHING indoors. I love being outside, it's peaceful, it's energizing, it helps clear my head, it makes me feel connected to the world.... (Yeah I'm a weirdo). And right now I'm struggling to push myself to work out indoors. I get burned out pretty easily, except with walking/jogging.

    I know as long as you DON'T give up, you'll accomplish your goals, I KNOW IT! The fact that you refuse to stay down when you're knocked down proves that!!!

    LOVE YOU GIRL! And I'm always here for you!
    1143 days ago
    You can do it :) we all go through those times when putting the effort forth seems impossible but I have faith in you :) I hope that your workout went well and motivated you to do more. feeling good is generally a pretty good motivator.

    Much love emoticon
    1144 days ago
    Believe in yourself. You can do it!
    1145 days ago
  • STR458
    cuties! both of you! I've been there it sucks and vent all you want...I do.
    1146 days ago
  • BRADMILL2922
    This thing is hard. As you know, it is filled with ups and downs. There really isn't anything that anyone can say in the end because it is ultimately up to you. Just take it slow, one step at a time. You can do it!
    1147 days ago
    You are amazing and I am sorry you are struggling! We have all been there, we are only human and we have our ups and downs. You will get out of this because you are still here and you are still fighting! emoticon
    1147 days ago
    I know you have been there before and so have most of us. It's so frustrating and heartbreaking when we want it so badly but for some reason, yet to be known, we sabotage ourselves. We just don't have the energy to say NO. You have it in you to say YES and I know you will give it all you've got. Praying for you.
    1147 days ago
    Also, you are too cute. I would like to do vlogs, but I don't know how. :(

    1147 days ago
    Man...we are so much alike. Everything you said...I could have written. Sigh.
    1147 days ago
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