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KATIEM929
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints 167,483
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Trying Again (again)

Monday, October 14, 2013

So my depression hit me hard for the past 3 months...my weight is back up where it was when I started and I'm feeling terrible about myself again. I know I'm supposed to love myself where I'm at, yada, yada, yada. But the truth is I just don't feel like that. I seriously can't name one single thing I like about myself right now. That's something I have to work on, and I will.

My cousin (who is one of my best friends) just started doing Jenny Craig and she's down 3 pounds in her first week. I'm super proud of her and happy for her, too. I sincerely wish her luck. However, that brings my own weight struggle into sharp focus. It sucks - I mean really, REALLY sucks - to be the only fat person in a room. So as happy as I am for her weight loss, I'm panicking trying to get my self together to work on it again. I don't want to be fat anymore. I don't want my kids to struggle to hug me. I want to be able to go shopping without having to think about which stores might have decent and reasonable clothes for my size.

My knees are swollen and ache and I'm not sure if it's due to the fall weather or if I strained something. It doesn't hurt enough to warrant a visit to a doctor, but I do need to take it easy for a couple days. I'm going to focus on making sure I get enough water and really watch my calories and nutrition. Hopefully, my aches and pains will ease enough to go for a walk.
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
  • v HARMONYAGAIN
    it can be done you can make good choices and feel better one decision and choice at a time
    hang in there! emoticon
    987 days ago
  • v MOTHEPRO
    emoticon emoticon
    987 days ago
  • v LORI2562
    You can do this Katie! Start with your 10 minutes. Ten minutes of any activity is a perfect start.

    Look at your picture on you Spark Page - you are beautiful. You have an infectious smile. This pic should be your profile picture!!

    You were a great inspiration to me and helped me to reach my goal. I want to help you to reach yours!

    Go look in the mirror - smile - then say "I GOT THIS!!"


    987 days ago
  • v KNH771
    I don't think that anybody has weight loss that is a straight line down. It's a learning process with a lot of twists and turns and ups and downs. Each time you have a turn, you just have to try to learn something from it. I started dieting when I was thirteen, but I didn't get to a happy spot with my weight until I was 37! You just have to keep trying until you find the right solution.
    989 days ago
  • v STR458
    if you can view videos take another look at seated exercises (almost all of them satisfy a ten minute challenge) as a way to sneak in motion without the need to put on a public face. You get all the benefits and none of the hassle. Some days I just don't wanna be outside *I'm not depressed, I'm in my pj's and I'm not interested dressing yet... but if I wait too long the urge for fitness will pass me by. TA-Da there in lies the beauty of seated fitness videos on sparkpeople ! we get going without going to get there emoticon
    991 days ago
  • v KATIEM929
    Thanks for the encouragement, Bob. I really appreciate it. It helps to know I'm not alone. I can't go back and change the past and I can't look too far forward, either. I need to work on focusing on what I'm doing today and take it one thing at a time. :)
    991 days ago
  • v FLYER99
    I've been there and have come back. I'm still not where I want to be but I am trying my best. That's all we can do, take it one step, one day, at a time. I know that's a cliche, but I just live for the day and do the best I can.

    I just started last week on Leslie Sansone's basic Walk Away The Pounds DVD. I'm just doing the one mile now as I am coming back from some physical problems. But I am hopeful I will in the near future get to do the 2 and 3 mile parts of the DVD.

    All I can leave you with is try your best and hang in there. You are not alone in this! Bob.
    emoticon

    991 days ago

    Comment edited on: 10/14/2013 3:23:48 PM
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    Disclaimer: Weight loss results will vary from person to person. No individual result should be seen as a typical result of following the SparkPeople program.
 

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