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Torn...anyone have words of wisdom?

Monday, October 14, 2013

Very confused today. DH sat me down yesterday and told me he did NOT want me to have the surgery. Now I'm really confused. He hates the idea of how they cut the stomach.

Ultimately, it's my decision. He has offered to join Weight Watchers and monitor each other......which would be supportive.

I wonder if I should give his way a try for 6 months just to satisfy our concerns...what's the worst that can happen?

I wrapped my head around the fact that I wanted to do this......

So confused....I was sooo close to D day. Now I'm torn.....
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Member Comments About This Blog Post
    I can't much more than what everyone else has said.

    I'll just say it another way. The surgery option is always there but once you do it - it's done. So unless you are 100% certain that this is right for you then I'd suggest you take DH on his offer to work with you.

    The worst that can happen is the surgery is delayed for 6 months. You've been doing this for a long long time and just maybe this one last effort with DH is all that you need to make it work.

    Whatever decision you do make - make it for you.

    Take care!


    1613 days ago
    it is awesome that he loves you so much . I think you could give it a try the 6 months and the both of you really really try your hardest . Maybe the surgery will be a non issue . Either way he will support you and so will we.
    1614 days ago
    In the end, it is all up to you. But he has a legitimate concern. You could try WW for a set time and then decide if you still want to proceed with the surgery. Only you can decide but I am behind you 100%. HUGS!
    1614 days ago
    Go with your heart. Were DH's concerns valid? Did they shake your faith in the surgery decision? You have to lose weight before they'll do the surgery, right? Why not use Weight Watchers to lose the pre-surgery weight? You might be so impressed with the program and your success that surgery becomes a non-issue.

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
    1614 days ago
    Since he is offering his support, perhaps you should tell him that you will try his way first for a specified period of time and if you don't like the results then you go back to the surgery. Meet him halfway.
    1614 days ago
    I am not anti-surgery, and have often thought about something as frivolous as a facelift and laser eye surgery!

    But anything that affects you SO profoundly affects DH JUST as profoundly. Personally I would feel very amazingly touched that DH cares enough about you to sit you down and tell you about his fears.

    You've had this extra weight for a long time. It would be a loving gesture if you would honor his feelings by trying WW with him. The fact that he has offered to join you is another indication of his commitment to you and his fear of the surgery.

    You are right, it is ultimately your decision, but it is a decision that affects him too. Good luck.

    1614 days ago
    I am not slamming those who've had this surgery. But these are my own opinions. I stay as far away from ALL surgery as possible. For many reasons that you are smart enough to understand if left unstated. Additionally, many who've done this have regained. I recently thought about something I said I NEVER would, and researched it. Tummy tuck. Again, not slamming those who did it, but when being honest with myself I had to admit that I was sick of losing weight the hard way and wanted the easy way. This morning, I researched something else that is non-surgical. Like Nancy, I also do the pro and con lists. Your husband sounds wonderful and will be supportive whatever you decide. But I do understand not getting cut open.
    1614 days ago
  • HINK2013
    I will offer this advice -- you really need GOOD support to get through this! It is a major surgery and a huge change in your lifestyle, so not having your husband on board with your decision would make it even more difficult. So I would definitely give a lot of thought to trying weight watchers with him for 6 months and seeing how you do.... maybe after that time if you still haven't had much success, he might be more supportive of a choice for surgery and if you do have success that's a great win for you!!
    1614 days ago
  • NANCY-
    When torn I sit down and make list of pros and cons. Seeing things in black and white makes it easier to prioritize them and helps me decide.
    1614 days ago
    Why don't you try it his way. At least he is willing to help you to lose weight in some manner. He must really love you if he is scared for you. emoticon emoticon
    1614 days ago
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