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    ANNEMARGAR   36,923
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I Knew This Day Would Come....Just Didn't Think it Would Be So Soon

Monday, October 14, 2013

I was so looking forward to this long weekend - I had so many things that I needed to take care of with my extra long weekend. All of my plans came to a sudden halt when we learned that our twelve year old german shepherd, Maddie, lost the use of her rear legs. Maddie was scared, in pain, and confused. Due to other existing medical conditions, we waited until Saturday so that we could take her in to see her vet. The issue could be one of three things (of which I really can't remember - bulging disc was one I believe). In order to really know what the issue is - we would have to pay $1,400 for an MRI which would only tell us what the problem is - if it is the bulging disc - it would cost another $6,000 for the surgery and then the long recovery. Maddie is 12, she has hip dysplasia, arthritis, and Cushings disease. I love her with every part of my heart - she is my fuzzy baby - we have paid so much money in her care over the years, but now I think it may be time to put her out of this misery. She can't potty on her own, she won't let us assist her by holding her up (it is not proper), but she does not want to potty in her diapers. When she does potty in her diapers - it is a mess. Last night at 2:30am, we had to hold her up in the shower to clean her up. Maddie is an 85lbs long-hair german shepherd - she is no light tulip to carry around, but we have been doing it for her. Maddie cried all night and continues to cry now.

Rewind to last week - Wednesday - I got home from work at 5:30pm, I went with my partner and Maddie to see the fresh coat of paint on the front porch. Maddie was in such a good mood - she was playing chase with me. Big smile on her face - she was trying to fake me out and catch me - so happy. I did not know that it would be the last time we would play like that. I did not know, that our Thursday night walk would be the last one we would have together. I did not know that the Friday morning hug would be the last one she could give me on her own. I love her with all of my heart and I can't stand to see her in such pain, so unhappy.

Member Comments About This Blog Post:
VEEBEE8 10/18/2013 3:37AM

    I'm so sorry to hear that. You obviously loved Maddie very much, and making that kind of decision is never easy.

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SWEETCLEANER 10/18/2013 12:53AM

    Crying with you and for you.....we love our furry family soooo just aches to see them in pain and suffering....condolences to you and yours....

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ANNEMARGAR 10/15/2013 6:42AM

    Thank you all for stopping by my Spark blog and sharing your comments. We took Maddie in to the vet yesterday and had her put to sleep. The vet gave her a shot of valium before they put her to rest - I could see all of the tension, pain, and stress leave her body as she was relaxed for the first time in quite a while. She is at peace now - no pain. I miss her with all of my heart.

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OAKASHANDTHORN 10/15/2013 12:46AM

    I am so sorry, and I understand your loss.

On Memorial Day, my 15 year old 110-pound mixed breed rescue could no longer stand up. We had to slide him out the door on a rug and help him stand up to poop and pee.

We called a hospice vet. She was wonderful! She came to the house, did an eval. and prescribed enormous doses of pain killers. Shortly thereafter, he was diagnosed with lymphoma.

But he was still enjoying life, and was not in pain. We lived like this, hoisting him in and out the door to poop and pee 4 times per day, and helping him stand up to pee.

He lasted for one month, then he began to show signs of being in pain. We had the hospice vet come to the house to put him to sleep. It was painless, in his own home, in his own bed, and with his family around it.

He had a good life, and an good death.

We can only wish the same for ourselves.

We had his remains cremated, and the ashes arrived back to us in a red, heart-shaped box. So appropriate!

I am sure he is in a good place and that we will meet again.

I know how you are sorrowing. Wishing you peace.

It is so regrettable that the dogs we love do not share our lifespans.

Oak Ash and Thorn

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AJDOVER1 10/14/2013 5:54PM

    you're in my prayers. such a tough time for you....

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APONI_KB 10/14/2013 1:31PM

    OOh I've been there and I've very sorry. It's tough to have to make these decisions.

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DRAGON-CHICK 10/14/2013 10:44AM

    OMG - I had a dog with that, too.
It was the worst thing ever to have him be put down.
My heart is crying for you and Maddie.


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SERVINGTHRUPT 10/14/2013 8:52AM

    Oh, I'm sorry to read of such a painful time in your lives. I hurt for you, and you will be in my thoughts & prayers.

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    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon to you both.

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BILL60 10/14/2013 8:02AM

    We've been through it twice with dogs and twice with cats. I feel your pain. Hang tough!!

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GOLFGMA 10/14/2013 7:14AM

    We have been through this and I ache for you. My DH refuses to have another because he says he can't go through this again. We have been through it 3 times. emoticon

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ELRIDDICK 10/14/2013 6:56AM

  Thanks for sharing. My thoughts and prayers are with you. As a fellow pet owner, I know it is like loosing a child when you have to make that decision.

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