I Knew This Day Would Come....Just Didn't Think it Would Be So Soon
Monday, October 14, 2013
I was so looking forward to this long weekend - I had so many things that I needed to take care of with my extra long weekend. All of my plans came to a sudden halt when we learned that our twelve year old german shepherd, Maddie, lost the use of her rear legs. Maddie was scared, in pain, and confused. Due to other existing medical conditions, we waited until Saturday so that we could take her in to see her vet. The issue could be one of three things (of which I really can't remember - bulging disc was one I believe). In order to really know what the issue is - we would have to pay $1,400 for an MRI which would only tell us what the problem is - if it is the bulging disc - it would cost another $6,000 for the surgery and then the long recovery. Maddie is 12, she has hip dysplasia, arthritis, and Cushings disease. I love her with every part of my heart - she is my fuzzy baby - we have paid so much money in her care over the years, but now I think it may be time to put her out of this misery. She can't potty on her own, she won't let us assist her by holding her up (it is not proper), but she does not want to potty in her diapers. When she does potty in her diapers - it is a mess. Last night at 2:30am, we had to hold her up in the shower to clean her up. Maddie is an 85lbs long-hair german shepherd - she is no light tulip to carry around, but we have been doing it for her. Maddie cried all night and continues to cry now.
Rewind to last week - Wednesday - I got home from work at 5:30pm, I went with my partner and Maddie to see the fresh coat of paint on the front porch. Maddie was in such a good mood - she was playing chase with me. Big smile on her face - she was trying to fake me out and catch me - so happy. I did not know that it would be the last time we would play like that. I did not know, that our Thursday night walk would be the last one we would have together. I did not know that the Friday morning hug would be the last one she could give me on her own. I love her with all of my heart and I can't stand to see her in such pain, so unhappy.