Monday, October 14, 2013
Still finding it hard to get into that groove again. I was tracking my food with my guy but when he went away for a week things just went to crap. Haven't been tracking as much and not really working out as much either. It really bugs me. I can't do this alone and I feel completely alone. I look at the spark groups that I've been to, mind you not all of them but some, and they are as dead as can be.
I am in a desperate need to find some motivation. I am struggling on my own... My guy enables me more than tries to keep me on track. A lot of that is because of me. I want something sweet and he tells me no, i get pouty and grumpy and he gives in. Bless his heart he just wants me happy but its killing me. I feel the regret after and its a cycle that I want to end. I want the weight gone... for good.
Things went to crap when my grandma died and I want them to go back to where they were. I had a doctor and medicine. Now I have no job, no vehicle, no medicine, no doctor and I'm drowning. I need help. I need motivation. I need someone checking in on me to see if I'm on track.
I just need help...