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    STEPH-KNEE   61,093
60,000-79,999 SparkPoints
They Finally Stopped Snickering (Or Did They?)

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Sunday, October 13, 2013

Being overweight my entire life, I have had my fair share of teasing. I had a lot of it in High School... and it wasn't fun. I can remember I was sitting down, waiting for my mom to come and get me. A guy pulled up and took the time to stop the car to say "Can I get your number? Yeah that belly just REALLY turns me on!" I wouldn't even make eye contact with the guy until he finally drove away. It's sad that over 10 years later I can still remember that like it happened yesterday. The good news is, I don't think of times like that very often.

After High School I thought the worst had to be behind me, adults couldn't be as petty and ridiculous as children right? WRONG! emoticon I actually found out that adults were even more brutal and judgmental and had no problem showing it. I could provide examples, but I don't want to think about those unhappy moments and give them any more time and energy.

But the other day I realized that I haven't heard a snicker or a snide remark in quite some time... in fact if you asked me when was the last time I heard one, I probably couldn't figure out when it was. The thing of it is, I am still about 188 pounds, not small by any means and I carry a large amount of weight in my stomach. To add insult to injury I live in Los Angeles, and even after losing almost 85 pounds I can almost always be the biggest person in a place at any given time. Whether it's shopping or out to eat, I am often the big girl... this isn't always the case but it happens more than I care to admit. So did people really stop making comments at my expense? Maybe, but I somehow find it highly unlikely. I think what has changed is me. I am no longer looking to see if anyone is giving me a weird look, or whispering while they point at me. I am no longer looking to see who is laughing so loudly, because they MUST be laughing at the fat girl. I am too busy feeling stronger and more confident because I have lost 85 pounds. In the past I literally walked around feeling like EVERYONE was looking at me and passing judgement because I was so big... it might sound paranoid but the sad part is it was often true. But those days are behind me and it's no longer something I choose to worry about.

I joked with my brother if I heard people making a joke about me I would say "Where? Where's the fat girl? I want to see! I've lost 85 pounds so it couldn't possibly be me!" emoticon It is to the point now where I don't care who thinks I'm fat or what their opinions are about it. Am I still overweight? Absolutely. But I am happy, healthy and I have come a long way and I am too busy enjoying my life to be worried about what other people might or might not be saying.

I am sharing this with you, because whether you've lost 5, 10, or 100 pounds, you deserve to be proud of yourself. People that pass judgement on others purely based on weight clearly have their own issues, and it has nothing to do with you. My hope by sharing this is that you won't wait until you lose 85 pounds to regain that confidence and to start living life. Don't waste any more time wondering if those people snickering are talking about you... they aren't worth your time. Hold your head high and be proud of who you are today, tomorrow, and everyday moving forward! emoticon
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMADAMS3 11/15/2013 5:59PM

    GREAT Job! Keep it up - You are an inspiration!!

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LYNMEINDERS 11/15/2013 5:42PM

    Absolutely awesome blog....
Well done on your 85lb loss and also the change thta has occured in you....
go you....
You can so do this.....proud of you and your changes

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KAYRAY1 11/15/2013 5:20PM

    great job! Chin up and keep on keeping on!! Glad you can find something to make you smile, and not let those bad memories bring you down. emoticon

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RED_DEVIL_APRIL 11/15/2013 4:21PM

    You go girl!

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FELICIA1963 11/15/2013 4:02PM

  I know the feeling - way to go!

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SKISUNNYNM 11/15/2013 2:40PM

  The past is in the past! Congratulations on a new and confident you! Thank you for sharing your story so honestly. The book and NOT the cover is always the BEST part of the story!

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SPARKBJOK 11/15/2013 2:24PM

    Be proud!

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BETTERMEL13 11/15/2013 1:30PM

    I'm just getting started. Thanks for the inspiration.

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RHAL1462 11/15/2013 1:27PM

    You are absolutely right - it's their problem how they act, not ours! emoticon emoticon

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JOCOOL01 11/15/2013 1:26PM

    Yay for you -you are an inspiration! emoticon

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VPT218 11/15/2013 1:23PM

    Thanks for sharing such an inspirational story. I've felt that way myself so many times in the past. I was always "the fat girl" in school and still find myself occasionally remembering those days (even though they are long behind me). With all the social networking now, I am reconnecting with people from long ago - finding out that even "the popular kids" had some sort of self-esteem issues.

I am on the journey to a healthier me, and learning to like my body, whatever it may be.

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WACKYCOCOA 11/15/2013 1:15PM

    Way to go girl!!! I am so proud of you... I can totally relate to how you feel!!

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JUSTPLAINSARAH 11/15/2013 12:56PM

  You go, girl! You are so right in what you say: judgmental and hurtful comments say everything about the person making them, nothing at all about you. Maybe learning that is even more important than losing 85 lbs.

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SHAFF401 11/15/2013 12:48PM

    Thanks for the post. It amazes me how people can be so horrible to others, but you are an amazing person and an inspiration to all of us on this journey!!! emoticon

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FAIRYEARS 11/15/2013 12:20PM

  That was an awesome blog post. Thank you. I'm seriously over weight and uber stressed about it right now and this pulled me right out of my sorry for myself mood. Thank you.

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JMVANCE69 11/15/2013 12:10PM

    I am glad you are happy with yourself!!!! There will always be people who thrive on making others miserable. Your story has reminded me to ignore such people and be happy with life! Thank you. emoticon

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RHONDAANNROSE 11/15/2013 11:53AM

    Congrats on the weight loss! Love your attitude!!

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GLADNEY210 11/15/2013 11:50AM

  Congrats on your weight loss!!! Hang in there. Continue to be happy!! Thank you for your encouragement! emoticon

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NASFKAB 11/15/2013 11:39AM

  so inspiring thanks needed it

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LEMAE47 11/15/2013 11:38AM

    You sound like a beautiful person, so happy for your weight loss, but you are still the same beautiful person you were before, you just didn't know it.

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MISSDEE333 11/15/2013 11:32AM

  I really needed this and I am soooo happy for you! Keep pushing :-)

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PORTIAWILLIS 11/15/2013 11:19AM

    You are awesome. I am nearly 60 years old and have been overweight most of my life and have never liked my body . I istill judge myself by how I look and what others say about me ,most of the time. Your blog opened my eyes to the fact it is time for my inner self to LOVE me just as i am. I don't need to wait till I have lost the weight.

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PATRICIACOLEMAN 11/15/2013 11:13AM

    :) You are so right. Please continue your journey as successfully. I want to read you when you reach your Goal.

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CHRSTNBJ 11/15/2013 10:52AM

    Bravo! I agree with you and I have just lost 60# and yea I too am over weight (more than you) but I feel proud of what I have done! Way to put it into words!

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FITMOMMA32 11/15/2013 10:51AM

    This post took me back to when I was in high school...I often got teased because of my weight and I was different.I was the only black student in my school.That alone has its own set of challenges.Congrats on your weight loss!

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CYNTSATIONAL 11/15/2013 10:30AM

    Great job! You are emoticon !
emoticon ! emoticon !

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EL1673 11/15/2013 10:08AM

  I'm so proud of what you have achieved and I'm glad you shared you story. Keep on being positive about yourself.

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MAUREL80 11/15/2013 9:29AM

    I just have to say you are emoticon

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PAMPEEKEMD 11/15/2013 9:18AM

  I can't tell you how excited my patients and readers get when they read such real stories of the journey. Congratulations!

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YENDUCHAKA 11/15/2013 9:03AM

    Wow! Excellent attitude! Thanks so much for sharing your story and how you deal with it. And congrats on your weight loss!!! You're doing great!

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KMILLER6711 11/15/2013 8:44AM

  Congratulations Steph! This actually inspires more to begin my journey!

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NEWMOM20121 11/15/2013 8:44AM

    Congratulations. Great blog

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GRANDMAFRANNY 11/15/2013 8:29AM


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AUGUSTDRAGON 11/15/2013 8:18AM

    Congratulations on your success. Love your strength and attitude. emoticon

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ARKMOGAL 11/15/2013 8:12AM

    Congrats on the weight loss!! I have lost 40 pounds since May of 2012, and I feel like I should have lost more or done better. Your blog touched me in that I should be proud of myself for losing any of it, and not beat myself over what I didn't do but be THRILLED in what I DID do!! You gave me a lot to think about in myself...gotta stop that negative voice in my head!! Thank you so much for sharing!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NEENSTER1 11/15/2013 7:55AM

    emoticon Be Encouraged and take good care.

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JENNYLYNN415 11/15/2013 7:54AM

    Thank you for sharing your story. It means a lot to me. emoticon

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MOSTMOM1 11/15/2013 7:51AM

    Stand tall, be proud and brave!

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I_WILL_ROCK_125 11/15/2013 7:15AM

    Love the kitten. You should definitely feel proud. I still suffer self esteem issues, except as an adult it's because of my size. And I still feel people snickering and making comments. I sure needed to read your blog today. It is fantastic. And I will try and remember to think of it like you are. It definitely is making me feel better. Thank you so much.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHERIONE 11/15/2013 7:10AM

    What's better...losing 85 pounds or gaining a positive, confident and rocking attitude? How bout both! Congratulations and thanks for the spark (((hugs)))

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SDAILEY4 11/15/2013 7:01AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

You WILL reach your goals. You ARE an inspiration to us all!

Have a wonderful day!


Comment edited on: 11/15/2013 7:02:16 AM

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VICTORYPOWER 11/15/2013 6:37AM

    Thank you! I really needed this in my inbox today--you've brought me back to SP! Wonderful achievement to lose're awesome and strong, and I admire you! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LISAREIN 11/15/2013 5:37AM

    Thank you for sharing! You have really inspired me today..It is so heartening to know there are people like YOU out there :)

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ILOVEROSES 11/15/2013 2:46AM

    What a great blog. emoticon emoticon m emoticon on your weight loss!

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ANDYLIN90 11/15/2013 2:45AM

    BRAVO!! Good for you!

When I was in 4th grade my class was at a picnic. After I had filled my plate, I went to sit at a picnic table where my teacher, who I adored, was sitting with others in my class. As I swung my leg over the bench to sit down, Mrs. Quinn said to some of the kids sitting on the same side of the table..."A couple of you come and sit on this side of the table. Liz has had too many mashed potatoes and gravy and I'm afraid the table will tip over."

I was mortified and here I am 69 years old and I still remember. And no, I wasn't THAT overweight that I could manage to topple a picnic table, so it was said as a joke, but I didn't realize that at the time.

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WRITERWANNAB 11/15/2013 1:51AM

    You've come a long way! Good for you! emoticon

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AUSSIEFLOSS 11/15/2013 1:44AM

    Thank you so much for this blog! I had to be determined not to let MY belly keep me from working out, even though people could see me obviously speed walking down the street. What's the point of worrying so much that the weight keeps you from doing what is good for you?

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DJHUMPHREY 11/15/2013 1:11AM

    You sound wonderful! Keep up the good work.

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MCFITZ2 11/15/2013 12:08AM

    I her you. II also felt like a spotlight was on me so if I hard laughter I assumed it was at me. If someone looked in my direction they were of course looking at fatso me. Why in the world did I ever think that people had nothing better to do than to mock and make fun of me. Now I am old enough to ignore and not care what they think.
Glad things are coming together for you.

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JSEATTLE 11/15/2013 12:07AM

  People are so rude and clueless sometimes. You have accomplished so much and will continue to do so!

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